On Sat, 23 Aug 2008 05:23:05 GMT, WingedMessenger <Boy@FlyingHigh.com>
wrote:
>"::darkshadows::" <blood@thirsty.net> wrote in
>news:2mtua4t09u8out4dkk0i8s16hgto5se9vv@4ax.com:
>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> How does Osama bin Laden practice safe sex?
>>
>> He marks the camels that kick.
>>
>>
>> ==========
>>
>>
>> A man staggers into an emergency room with two black eyes and a five
>> iron wrapped tightly around his throat. Naturally, the doctor asks him
>> what happened.
>>
>> "Well, I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife when she sliced
>> her ball into a pasture of cows. We went to look for it and while I
>> was rooting around I noticed one of the cows had something white at
>> its rear end. I walked over and lifted up the tail and sure enough,
>> there was my wife's golf ball... stuck right in the middle of the
>> cow's butt. "That's when I made my mistake."
>>
>> "What did you do?" asks the doctor.
>>
>> "Well, I lifted the tail and yelled to my wife, Hey, this looks like
>> yours!"
>>
>>
>> ==========
>>
>>
>> A man was visiting Spain and passed by a restaurant in Madrid after a
>> bullfight. They were advertising that they served the balls of the
>> bull who lost the bullfight. Intrigued, the man went inside, only to
>> find that where was a six-week waiting list to get to eat the loser's
>> balls. So he signed up and came back six weeks later. When he got his
>> meal, there were two teeny, teeny balls on his plate. He called the
>> waiter over to complain.
>>
>> "I've waited six weeks for bull balls. What are these?"
>>
>> "Sir," the waiter said, "the bull doesn't always lose."
>>
>>
>> ==========
>>
>>
>> Larry, a local football star, is jogging down the street when he sees
>> a building on fire. A lady is standing on a third story ledge holding
>> her pet cat in her arms.
>>
>> "Hey, lady", yells Larry, "Throw me the cat!"
>>
>> "No," she cries, "It's too far!"
>>
>> "I play football, I can catch him"
>>
>> The smoke is pouring from the windows, and finally, the woman waves to
>> Larry, kisses her cat goodbye, and tosses it down to the street.
>>
>> Larry keeps his eye on the cat as it comes hurtling down toward him.
>> The feline bounces off an awning and Larry runs into the street to
>> catch it. He jumps six feet into the air and makes a spectacular one
>> handed catch. The crowd that has gathered to watch the fire breaks
>> into cheers.
>>
>> Larry does a little dance, lifts the cat above his head, wiggles his
>> knees back and forth, then spikes the cat into the pavement.
>>
>>
>> ==========
>>
>>
>> A man runs into the vet's office carrying his dog, screaming for help.
>> The vet rushes him back to an examination room and has him put his dog
>> down on the examination table. The vet examines the still, limp body
>> and after a few moments tells the man that his dog, regrettably, is
>> dead. The man, clearly agitated and not willing to accept this,
>> demands a second opinion.
>>
>> The vet goes into the back room and comes out with a cat and puts the
>> cat down next to the dog's body. The cat sniffs the body, walks from
>> head to tail poking and sniffing the dog's body and finally looks at
>> the vet and meows. The vet looks at the man and says, "I'm sorry, but
>> the cat thinks that your dog is dead too."
>>
>> The man is still unwilling to accept that his dog is dead.
>>
>> The vet brings in a black Labrador. The lab sniffs the body, walks
>> from head to tail, and finally looks at the vet and barks. The vet
>> looks at the man and says, "I'm sorry, but the lab thinks your dog is
>> dead too."
>>
>> The man, finally resigned to the diagnosis, thanks the vet and asks
>> how much he owes. The vet answers, "$650."
>>
>> "$650 to tell me my dog is dead?" exclaimed the man....
>>
>> "Well," the vet replies, "I would only have charged you $50 for my
>> initial diagnosis. The additional $600 was for the cat scan and lab
>> tests."
>>
>>
>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>>
>>
>
>OMG was it worth having the comp repaired LOL.
>
>Mercury.
May Apis mistake you for a member of his harem.
darkshadows
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