| Dear Dad: |
EasyNews, UseNet made Ea .. |
| Rolex (rolex@twebmaster.com) |
2006/05/19 07:42 |
Path: news.nzbot.com!not-for-mail
From: "Rolex" <rolex@twebmaster.com>
Newsgroups: alt.fan.rolex
Subject: Dear Dad:
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Date: Fri, 19 May 2006 13:42:50 GMT
Xref: news.nzbot.com alt.fan.rolex:1436
A FATHER PASSING BY HIS SON'S BEDROOM WAS
ASTONISHED TO SEE THE BED WAS NICELY MADE
AND EVERYTHING WAS PICKED UP.
THEN HE SAW AN ENVELOPE PROPPED UP PROMINENTLY
ON THE CENTER OF THE BED.
IT WAS ADDRESSED, "DAD."
WITH THE WORST PREMONITION, HE OPENED THE
ENVELOPE AND READ THE LETTER WITH TREMBLING HANDS:
DEAR DAD:
IT IS WITH GREAT REGRET AND SORROW THAT I'M
WRITING THIS.
I HAD TO ELOPE WITH MY NEW GIRLFRIEND BECAUSE
I WANTED TO AVOID A SCENE WITH MOM AND YOU.
I'VE BEEN FINDING REAL PASSION WITH BARBARA AND
SHE IS SO NICE EVEN WITH ALL HER PIERCINGS, TATTOOS,
AND HER TIGHT MOTORCYCLE CLOTHES.
BUT IT'S NOT ONLY THE PASSION, DAD -
SHE'S PREGNANT AND BARBARA ASSURES ME THAT WE
WILL BE VERY HAPPY.
EVEN THOUGH YOU DON'T CARE FOR HER SINCE SHE IS
SO MUCH OLDER THAN I AM, SHE ALREADY OWNS A TRAILER
IN THE WOODS AND HAS A STACK OF FIREWOOD ENOUGH
FOR THE WHOLE WINTER. SHE WANTS TO HAVE MANY MORE
CHILDREN WITH ME AND THAT'S NOW ONE OF MY DREAMS
TOO.
BARBARA TAUGHT ME THAT MARIJUANA DOESN'T REALLY
HURT ANYONE AND WE'LL BE GROWING IT FOR OURSELVES
AND TRADING IT WITH HER FRIENDS FOR ALL THE COCAINE
AND ECSTASY WE NEED.
IN THE MEANTIME, WE PRAY THAT SCIENCE WILL FIND A CURE
FOR AIDS SO THAT BARBARA CAN GET BETTER; SHE SURE
DESERVES IT!!
DON'T WORRY, DAD, I'M 15-YEARS-OLD NOW AND I KNOW
HOW TO TAKE CARE OF MYSELF.
SOMEDAY I'M SURE WE'LL BE BACK TO VISIT SO YOU CAN GET
TO KNOW YOUR GRANDCHILDREN.
YOUR SON, ROLEX
P.S. DAD, NONE OF THIS IS TRUE. I'M OVER AT BILLY'S HOUSE.
I JUST WANTED TO REMIND YOU THAT THERE ARE WORSE
THINGS IN LIFE THAN MY REPORT CARD WHICH IS IN MY
BEDROOM DESK DRAWER.
I LOVE YOU!
PPS: CALL ME WHEN IT'S SAFE TO COME HOME
--
Rolex
"May Dragons Fly Ever in your Dreams"
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