On Sat, 20 Dec 2008 21:37:44 -0500, 4s00th <4s00th@hushmail.com>
wrote:
>On Sat, 20 Dec 2008 11:55:43 -0800 (PST), 4s00th <4s00th@hushmail.com>
>wrote:
>
>>> On Fri, 19 Dec 2008 16:41:00 -0800 (PST), LC <secto...@gmail.com>
>>> wrote:
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> >Every two weeks I receive injections of a female hormone
>>> >(medroxyprogesterone) designed to counteract my testosterone, thus
>>> >depressing my libido- a process known as "chemical castration." I
>>> >also
>>> >attend weekly group psychotherapy sessions, in a cognitive
>>> >restructuring ("brainwash") program for sex offenders (mostly
>>> >incestuous fathers, step-fathers, and grandfathers).
>>> >a
>>> >ultra-liberal nudist family. The parents attended and hosted adults-
>>> >only orgies. The children went with them on nude camping trips and
>>> >visits to the nude beach. Although I was a self-described pedophile,
>>> >the parents allowed me to befriend their two children, a boy and a
>>> >girl, then around 7 and 8.
>>> >play,
>>> >usually nude. In addition, I fondled the girl's vulva and
>>> >occasionally
>>> >performed cunnilingus on her. I never had erections in their
>>> >presence,
>>> >nor did I ask them to perform any sexual acts on me.
>>> >realized her feelings for me amounted merely to friendship. In my
>>> >fantasy I was her lover; in practice, her playmate.
>>> >the company of children, more than most adults do. Second, I am
>>> >unable
>>> >to maintain an erection with any partner (man, woman, girl, or boy)
>>> >which is a severe handicap in adult relationships; but no handicap
>>> >with children. Third, my ideal woman would be quite petite (like my
>>> >mother, who was only 5 ft. tall, and thin); so girls are attractive
>>> >by
>>> >being short, and by having slender bodies and smooth skin. Fourth, I
>>> >lack attributes expected of an adult male (no job, no car, no dancing
>>> >ability, etc.); which makes it difficult to relate to adult women,
>>> >especially as I age; but kids don't care if you're old and poor; they
>>> >merely seek attention. Fifth, I am emotionally child-like and
>>> >childish
>>> >myself.
>>> >to justify my behavior. I believed that sexual pleasure was
>>> >inherently
>>> >good, and that some (not all) types of erotic play were age-
>>> >appropriate for children, such as masturbation, fondling, and nudity.
>>> >If sex were basically good, then sexual learning would begin as soon
>>> >as the child showed interest.(Precocity in music is praised; but
>>> >sexual ignorance is considered virtue.) I believed that my needs
>>> >suited me to be an erotic mentor to an intelligent child.
>>> >consent of the parents, could become acceptable in advanced societies
>>> >such as Denmark or the Netherlands. And among avant-garde life-
>>> >stylers
>>> >here. But I failed to worry enough about the reaction of the straight
>>> >state.
>>>
>>On Fri, 19 Dec 2008 18:50:58 -0800, Brandon D Cartwright
>><user@example.net> wrote:
>>
>>>On Fri, 19 Dec 2008 16:41:00 -0800 (PST), LC <sectoor4@gmail.com>
>>>wrote:
>>>
>>>>Every two weeks I receive injections of a female hormone
>>>>(medroxyprogesterone) designed to counteract my testosterone, thus
>>>>depressing my libido- a process known as "chemical castration." I
>>>>also
>>>>attend weekly group psychotherapy sessions, in a cognitive
>>>>restructuring ("brainwash") program for sex offenders (mostly
>>>>incestuous fathers, step-fathers, and grandfathers).
>>>> My crime occurred in 1980 or earlier. Thru swinging, I had met
>>>>a
>>>>ultra-liberal nudist family. The parents attended and hosted adults-
>>>>only orgies. The children went with them on nude camping trips and
>>>>visits to the nude beach. Although I was a self-described pedophile,
>>>>the parents allowed me to befriend their two children, a boy and a
>>>>girl, then around 7 and 8.
>>>> Most of my interaction with the kids consisted of innocent
>>>>play,
>>>>usually nude. In addition, I fondled the girl's vulva and
>>>>occasionally
>>>>performed cunnilingus on her. I never had erections in their
>>>>presence,
>>>>nor did I ask them to perform any sexual acts on me.
>>>> I was romantically in love with my girl victim, although I
>>>>realized her feelings for me amounted merely to friendship. In my
>>>>fantasy I was her lover; in practice, her playmate.
>>>> My urge was driven by several factors: First, I genuinely enjoy
>>>>the company of children, more than most adults do. Second, I am
>>>>unable
>>>>to maintain an erection with any partner (man, woman, girl, or boy)
>>>>which is a severe handicap in adult relationships; but no handicap
>>>>with children. Third, my ideal woman would be quite petite (like my
>>>>mother, who was only 5 ft. tall, and thin); so girls are attractive
>>>>by
>>>>being short, and by having slender bodies and smooth skin. Fourth, I
>>>>lack attributes expected of an adult male (no job, no car, no dancing
>>>>ability, etc.); which makes it difficult to relate to adult women,
>>>>especially as I age; but kids don't care if you're old and poor; they
>>>>merely seek attention. Fifth, I am emotionally child-like and
>>>>childish
>>>>myself.
>>>> I developed an elaborate rationalization ("stinkin' thinkin' ")
>>>>to justify my behavior. I believed that sexual pleasure was
>>>>inherently
>>>>good, and that some (not all) types of erotic play were age-
>>>>appropriate for children, such as masturbation, fondling, and nudity.
>>>>If sex were basically good, then sexual learning would begin as soon
>>>>as the child showed interest.(Precocity in music is praised; but
>>>>sexual ignorance is considered virtue.) I believed that my needs
>>>>suited me to be an erotic mentor to an intelligent child.
>>>> I believed that such relationships, with the knowledge and
>>>>consent of the parents, could become acceptable in advanced societies
>>>>such as Denmark or the Netherlands. And among avant-garde life-
>>>>stylers
>>>>here. But I failed to worry enough about the reaction of the straight
>>>>state.
>>>
>>>Congratulations for having the courage to confront your sickness
>>>and recognize it for what it is and persevering with your treatment..
>>
>>Brandon, you need to stop pretending you are some kind of expert in
>>the field when you no nothing of any true worth about pedophilia. It
>>is not a sickness, it is a natural preference, just the same as some
>>people prefer strawberry ice cream and others prefer vanilla, and it
>>falls along the natural continuum of human sexual preference -- if it
>>did not, it would not have always existed, but it has.
>>
>>Pedophilia does not require treatment -- it requires understanding and
>>acceptance; understanding that you cannot change it, understanding
>>that you must live with it, understanding that you can really harm
>>some wonderful people if you let it control you. Acceptance that you
>>must be responsible for your own actions, acceptance that there is no
>>excuse for harming others for your own selfish desires, acceptance
>>that you and YOU ALONE can choose what you do.
>>
>>I know sickness -- I live with it daily. My auto-immune disease -- I
>>can do nothing about but take my treatments and hope that they keep
>>the disease at bay. My pain -- I can do nothing about but take my
>>treatments and hope that they will be enough to keep me going. My
>>depression -- I can do nothing about but take my medicine and hope
>>that it will be enough to keep me out of the kind of despair that
>>would cause me to hurt myself or someone else. These things I can do
>>nothing about but accept the currently available treatments and hope
>>that they are enough until better treatments come along. And, yes,
>>some of those treatments do involve trying to manage my behaviors some
>>since behavior can trigger sickness or make it worse.
>>
>>But my pedophilia -- there is no acceptable treatment for pedophilia
>>-- because it isn't an illness and doesn't require treatment. It
>>requires that I accept that this is the way it is, that I be
>>responsible for my own behaviors and that I control what I do, not let
>>desires control me. Chemical castration sounds like a nice little
>>trick -- until you look at how well -- or how poorly -- it works. In
>>the first place, it can only lessen sexual desire -- it cannot change
>>behavior. And that's assuming that it works on the person being given
>>the damn stuff! For many people, long-term depo-provera just doesn't
>>do enough to slow down libido. AND, as I said, pedophilia is a
>>feeling, child molesting is a behavior. You don't have to have sexual
>>desire to act out those behaviors. Just as you don't have to have an
>>erection to molest a child. In the long term, it doesn't work. For
>>many people, it doesn't work at all. Trust me on this -- I've never
>>taken depo-provera except for illness, but I was on steroids most of
>>the years between my 18th and 36th birthdays -- drugs that are
>>chemically very similar, and they did nothing to me except turn my
>>body into a mess of pain from decalcified bones and connective
>>tissues.
>>
>>Long-term cognitive-behavioral therapy is one of the few things that
>>can be effective -- and do you know why? Because it teaches you to
>>accept what you cannot change and to manage your behavior accordingly.
>>Funny, but that's just what I've always said you had to do.
>>
>>You've proven time and time again that your "knowledge" of pedophilia
>>is based on prejudiced belief in false stereotypes that media idiots
>>push -- and I've shown you how wrong you are so many times that you
>>now admit that you may have been mistaken in your preconceived notions
>>about pedophilia and pedophiles. Isn't it time to let go of all of
>>them and admit that I know what I'm talking about? Or will you bring
>>up all the straw men that you so frequently post here from web sites
>>that don't know a damn thing except how to whip up hatred and
>>ignorance?
>>
>>What really bites my ass is why I still care enough to keep trying
>>with you! I ought to just wash my hands of the whole damn mess and say
>>fuck you and leave you to wallow in the ignorance that you refuse to
>>let go of!
>>
>>If I had any brain cells left that weren't all too busy making sure I
>>don't let myself do the wrong thing, I'd give you up for a lost cause.
>>
>>XXX is a lost cause. It astounds me that I can actually say that, but
>>it's the truth. As long as he wants to continue to lie to himself and
>>make excuses for doing things that he shouldn't do, then I can't help
>>him. But I'm also willing to bet that he's a lot less certain of
>>himself when it comes down to actually doing anything than he lets on.
>>He might want to blame society for the metaphoric gun in his hand, but
>>he knows damn well that it's his finger on the trigger.
>>
>Isn't it funny how this message only showed up when I posted it the
>THIRD time -- via GooGoo?
>
Ah, I get it, my service only allows posts that are not so horribly
cross-posted!
-- 4s00th@hushmail.com
If you send email, I will reply to it here at asbl
(without showing your email addy)
unless you ask me not to.
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