On Sat, 20 Dec 2008 11:55:43 -0800 (PST), 4s00th <4s00th@hushmail.com>
wrote:
>> On Fri, 19 Dec 2008 16:41:00 -0800 (PST), LC <secto...@gmail.com>
>> wrote:
>>
>>
>>
>> >Every two weeks I receive injections of a female hormone
>> >(medroxyprogesterone) designed to counteract my testosterone, thus
>> >depressing my libido- a process known as "chemical castration." I
>> >also
>> >attend weekly group psychotherapy sessions, in a cognitive
>> >restructuring ("brainwash") program for sex offenders (mostly
>> >incestuous fathers, step-fathers, and grandfathers).
>> >a
>> >ultra-liberal nudist family. The parents attended and hosted adults-
>> >only orgies. The children went with them on nude camping trips and
>> >visits to the nude beach. Although I was a self-described pedophile,
>> >the parents allowed me to befriend their two children, a boy and a
>> >girl, then around 7 and 8.
>> >play,
>> >usually nude. In addition, I fondled the girl's vulva and
>> >occasionally
>> >performed cunnilingus on her. I never had erections in their
>> >presence,
>> >nor did I ask them to perform any sexual acts on me.
>> >realized her feelings for me amounted merely to friendship. In my
>> >fantasy I was her lover; in practice, her playmate.
>> >the company of children, more than most adults do. Second, I am
>> >unable
>> >to maintain an erection with any partner (man, woman, girl, or boy)
>> >which is a severe handicap in adult relationships; but no handicap
>> >with children. Third, my ideal woman would be quite petite (like my
>> >mother, who was only 5 ft. tall, and thin); so girls are attractive
>> >by
>> >being short, and by having slender bodies and smooth skin. Fourth, I
>> >lack attributes expected of an adult male (no job, no car, no dancing
>> >ability, etc.); which makes it difficult to relate to adult women,
>> >especially as I age; but kids don't care if you're old and poor; they
>> >merely seek attention. Fifth, I am emotionally child-like and
>> >childish
>> >myself.
>> >to justify my behavior. I believed that sexual pleasure was
>> >inherently
>> >good, and that some (not all) types of erotic play were age-
>> >appropriate for children, such as masturbation, fondling, and nudity.
>> >If sex were basically good, then sexual learning would begin as soon
>> >as the child showed interest.(Precocity in music is praised; but
>> >sexual ignorance is considered virtue.) I believed that my needs
>> >suited me to be an erotic mentor to an intelligent child.
>> >consent of the parents, could become acceptable in advanced societies
>> >such as Denmark or the Netherlands. And among avant-garde life-
>> >stylers
>> >here. But I failed to worry enough about the reaction of the straight
>> >state.
>>
>On Fri, 19 Dec 2008 18:50:58 -0800, Brandon D Cartwright
><user@example.net> wrote:
>
>>On Fri, 19 Dec 2008 16:41:00 -0800 (PST), LC <sectoor4@gmail.com>
>>wrote:
>>
>>>Every two weeks I receive injections of a female hormone
>>>(medroxyprogesterone) designed to counteract my testosterone, thus
>>>depressing my libido- a process known as "chemical castration." I
>>>also
>>>attend weekly group psychotherapy sessions, in a cognitive
>>>restructuring ("brainwash") program for sex offenders (mostly
>>>incestuous fathers, step-fathers, and grandfathers).
>>> My crime occurred in 1980 or earlier. Thru swinging, I had met
>>>a
>>>ultra-liberal nudist family. The parents attended and hosted adults-
>>>only orgies. The children went with them on nude camping trips and
>>>visits to the nude beach. Although I was a self-described pedophile,
>>>the parents allowed me to befriend their two children, a boy and a
>>>girl, then around 7 and 8.
>>> Most of my interaction with the kids consisted of innocent
>>>play,
>>>usually nude. In addition, I fondled the girl's vulva and
>>>occasionally
>>>performed cunnilingus on her. I never had erections in their
>>>presence,
>>>nor did I ask them to perform any sexual acts on me.
>>> I was romantically in love with my girl victim, although I
>>>realized her feelings for me amounted merely to friendship. In my
>>>fantasy I was her lover; in practice, her playmate.
>>> My urge was driven by several factors: First, I genuinely enjoy
>>>the company of children, more than most adults do. Second, I am
>>>unable
>>>to maintain an erection with any partner (man, woman, girl, or boy)
>>>which is a severe handicap in adult relationships; but no handicap
>>>with children. Third, my ideal woman would be quite petite (like my
>>>mother, who was only 5 ft. tall, and thin); so girls are attractive
>>>by
>>>being short, and by having slender bodies and smooth skin. Fourth, I
>>>lack attributes expected of an adult male (no job, no car, no dancing
>>>ability, etc.); which makes it difficult to relate to adult women,
>>>especially as I age; but kids don't care if you're old and poor; they
>>>merely seek attention. Fifth, I am emotionally child-like and
>>>childish
>>>myself.
>>> I developed an elaborate rationalization ("stinkin' thinkin' ")
>>>to justify my behavior. I believed that sexual pleasure was
>>>inherently
>>>good, and that some (not all) types of erotic play were age-
>>>appropriate for children, such as masturbation, fondling, and nudity.
>>>If sex were basically good, then sexual learning would begin as soon
>>>as the child showed interest.(Precocity in music is praised; but
>>>sexual ignorance is considered virtue.) I believed that my needs
>>>suited me to be an erotic mentor to an intelligent child.
>>> I believed that such relationships, with the knowledge and
>>>consent of the parents, could become acceptable in advanced societies
>>>such as Denmark or the Netherlands. And among avant-garde life-
>>>stylers
>>>here. But I failed to worry enough about the reaction of the straight
>>>state.
>>
>>Congratulations for having the courage to confront your sickness
>>and recognize it for what it is and persevering with your treatment..
>
>Brandon, you need to stop pretending you are some kind of expert in
>the field when you no nothing of any true worth about pedophilia. It
>is not a sickness, it is a natural preference, just the same as some
>people prefer strawberry ice cream and others prefer vanilla, and it
>falls along the natural continuum of human sexual preference -- if it
>did not, it would not have always existed, but it has.
>
>Pedophilia does not require treatment -- it requires understanding and
>acceptance; understanding that you cannot change it, understanding
>that you must live with it, understanding that you can really harm
>some wonderful people if you let it control you. Acceptance that you
>must be responsible for your own actions, acceptance that there is no
>excuse for harming others for your own selfish desires, acceptance
>that you and YOU ALONE can choose what you do.
>
>I know sickness -- I live with it daily. My auto-immune disease -- I
>can do nothing about but take my treatments and hope that they keep
>the disease at bay. My pain -- I can do nothing about but take my
>treatments and hope that they will be enough to keep me going. My
>depression -- I can do nothing about but take my medicine and hope
>that it will be enough to keep me out of the kind of despair that
>would cause me to hurt myself or someone else. These things I can do
>nothing about but accept the currently available treatments and hope
>that they are enough until better treatments come along. And, yes,
>some of those treatments do involve trying to manage my behaviors some
>since behavior can trigger sickness or make it worse.
>
>But my pedophilia -- there is no acceptable treatment for pedophilia
>-- because it isn't an illness and doesn't require treatment. It
>requires that I accept that this is the way it is, that I be
>responsible for my own behaviors and that I control what I do, not let
>desires control me. Chemical castration sounds like a nice little
>trick -- until you look at how well -- or how poorly -- it works. In
>the first place, it can only lessen sexual desire -- it cannot change
>behavior. And that's assuming that it works on the person being given
>the damn stuff! For many people, long-term depo-provera just doesn't
>do enough to slow down libido. AND, as I said, pedophilia is a
>feeling, child molesting is a behavior. You don't have to have sexual
>desire to act out those behaviors. Just as you don't have to have an
>erection to molest a child. In the long term, it doesn't work. For
>many people, it doesn't work at all. Trust me on this -- I've never
>taken depo-provera except for illness, but I was on steroids most of
>the years between my 18th and 36th birthdays -- drugs that are
>chemically very similar, and they did nothing to me except turn my
>body into a mess of pain from decalcified bones and connective
>tissues.
>
>Long-term cognitive-behavioral therapy is one of the few things that
>can be effective -- and do you know why? Because it teaches you to
>accept what you cannot change and to manage your behavior accordingly.
>Funny, but that's just what I've always said you had to do.
>
>You've proven time and time again that your "knowledge" of pedophilia
>is based on prejudiced belief in false stereotypes that media idiots
>push -- and I've shown you how wrong you are so many times that you
>now admit that you may have been mistaken in your preconceived notions
>about pedophilia and pedophiles. Isn't it time to let go of all of
>them and admit that I know what I'm talking about? Or will you bring
>up all the straw men that you so frequently post here from web sites
>that don't know a damn thing except how to whip up hatred and
>ignorance?
>
>What really bites my ass is why I still care enough to keep trying
>with you! I ought to just wash my hands of the whole damn mess and say
>fuck you and leave you to wallow in the ignorance that you refuse to
>let go of!
>
>If I had any brain cells left that weren't all too busy making sure I
>don't let myself do the wrong thing, I'd give you up for a lost cause.
>
>XXX is a lost cause. It astounds me that I can actually say that, but
>it's the truth. As long as he wants to continue to lie to himself and
>make excuses for doing things that he shouldn't do, then I can't help
>him. But I'm also willing to bet that he's a lot less certain of
>himself when it comes down to actually doing anything than he lets on.
>He might want to blame society for the metaphoric gun in his hand, but
>he knows damn well that it's his finger on the trigger.
>
>-- 4s00th@hushmail.com
>
>If you send email, I will reply to it here at asbl
>(without showing your email addy)
>unless you ask me not to.
Isn't it funny how this message only showed up when I posted it the
THIRD time -- via GooGoo?
-- 4s00th@hushmail.com
If you send email, I will reply to it here at asbl
(without showing your email addy)
unless you ask me not to.
|
| Follow-ups: | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 |
|