4s00th <4s00th@hushmail.com> wrote:
> On 20 Dec 2008 21:18:11 GMT, xxxxxxxxxx@hotmail.com (XXX) wrote:
>
> >4s00th <4s00th@hushmail.com> wrote:
> >> On Dec 19, 9:50=A0pm, Brandon D Cartwright <u...@example.net> wrote:
> >> > On Fri, 19 Dec 2008 16:41:00 -0800 (PST), LC <secto...@gmail.com>
> >> > wrote:
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> > >Every two weeks I receive injections of a female hormone
> >> > >(medroxyprogesterone) designed to counteract my testosterone, thus
> >> > >depressing my libido- a process known as "chemical castration." I
> >> > >also
> >> > >attend weekly group psychotherapy sessions, in a cognitive
> >> > >restructuring ("brainwash") program for sex offenders (mostly
> >> > >incestuous fathers, step-fathers, and grandfathers).
> >> > > =A0 =A0 =A0My crime occurred in 1980 or earlier. Thru swinging, I
> >> > > had m=
> >> et
> >> > >a
> >> > >ultra-liberal nudist family. The parents attended and hosted
> >> > >adults- only orgies. The children went with them on nude camping
> >> > >trips and visits to the nude beach. Although I was a self-described
> >> > >pedophile, the parents allowed me to befriend their two children, a
> >> > >boy and a girl, then around 7 and 8.
> >> > > =A0 =A0 =A0Most of my interaction with the kids consisted of
> >> > >innocent play,
> >> > >usually nude. In addition, I fondled the girl's vulva and
> >> > >occasionally
> >> > >performed cunnilingus on her. I never had erections in their
> >> > >presence,
> >> > >nor did I ask them to perform any sexual acts on me.
> >> > > =A0 =A0 =A0I was romantically in love with my girl victim,
> >> > >although I realized her feelings for me amounted merely to
> >> > >friendship. In my fantasy I was her lover; in practice, her
> >> > >playmate.
> >> > > =A0 =A0 =A0My urge was driven by several factors: First, I
> >> > > genuinely en=
> >> joy
> >> > >the company of children, more than most adults do. Second, I am
> >> > >unable
> >> > >to maintain an erection with any partner (man, woman, girl, or boy)
> >> > >which is a severe handicap in adult relationships; but no handicap
> >> > >with children. Third, my ideal woman would be quite petite (like my
> >> > >mother, who was only 5 ft. tall, and thin); so girls are attractive
> >> > >by
> >> > >being short, and by having slender bodies and smooth skin. Fourth,
> >> > >I lack attributes expected of an adult male (no job, no car, no
> >> > >dancing ability, etc.); which makes it difficult to relate to adult
> >> > >women, especially as I age; but kids don't care if you're old and
> >> > >poor; they merely seek attention. Fifth, I am emotionally
> >> > >child-like and childish
> >> > >myself.
> >> > > =A0 =A0 =A0I developed an elaborate rationalization ("stinkin'
> >> > > thinkin'=
> >> ")
> >> > >to justify my behavior. I believed that sexual pleasure was
> >> > >inherently
> >> > >good, and that some (not all) types of erotic play were age-
> >> > >appropriate for children, such as masturbation, fondling, and
> >> > >nudity. If sex were basically good, then sexual learning would
> >> > >begin as soon as the child showed interest.(Precocity in music is
> >> > >praised; but sexual ignorance is considered virtue.) I believed
> >> > >that my needs suited me to be an erotic mentor to an intelligent
> >> > >child.
> >> > > =A0 =A0 =A0I believed that such relationships, with the knowledge
> >> > >and consent of the parents, could become acceptable in advanced
> >> > >societies such as Denmark or the Netherlands. And among avant-garde
> >> > >life- stylers
> >> > >here. But I failed to worry enough about the reaction of the
> >> > >straight state.
> >> >
> >> On Fri, 19 Dec 2008 18:50:58 -0800, Brandon D Cartwright
> >> <user@example.net> wrote:
> >>
> >> >On Fri, 19 Dec 2008 16:41:00 -0800 (PST), LC <sectoor4@gmail.com>
> >> >wrote:
> >> >
> >> >>Every two weeks I receive injections of a female hormone
> >> >>(medroxyprogesterone) designed to counteract my testosterone, thus
> >> >>depressing my libido- a process known as "chemical castration." I
> >> >>also
> >> >>attend weekly group psychotherapy sessions, in a cognitive
> >> >>restructuring ("brainwash") program for sex offenders (mostly
> >> >>incestuous fathers, step-fathers, and grandfathers).
> >> >> My crime occurred in 1980 or earlier. Thru swinging, I had met
> >> >>a
> >> >>ultra-liberal nudist family. The parents attended and hosted adults-
> >> >>only orgies. The children went with them on nude camping trips and
> >> >>visits to the nude beach. Although I was a self-described pedophile,
> >> >>the parents allowed me to befriend their two children, a boy and a
> >> >>girl, then around 7 and 8.
> >> >> Most of my interaction with the kids consisted of innocent
> >> >>play,
> >> >>usually nude. In addition, I fondled the girl's vulva and
> >> >>occasionally
> >> >>performed cunnilingus on her. I never had erections in their
> >> >>presence,
> >> >>nor did I ask them to perform any sexual acts on me.
> >> >> I was romantically in love with my girl victim, although I
> >> >>realized her feelings for me amounted merely to friendship. In my
> >> >>fantasy I was her lover; in practice, her playmate.
> >> >> My urge was driven by several factors: First, I genuinely
> >> >>enjoy the company of children, more than most adults do. Second, I
> >> >>am unable
> >> >>to maintain an erection with any partner (man, woman, girl, or boy)
> >> >>which is a severe handicap in adult relationships; but no handicap
> >> >>with children. Third, my ideal woman would be quite petite (like my
> >> >>mother, who was only 5 ft. tall, and thin); so girls are attractive
> >> >>by
> >> >>being short, and by having slender bodies and smooth skin. Fourth, I
> >> >>lack attributes expected of an adult male (no job, no car, no
> >> >>dancing ability, etc.); which makes it difficult to relate to adult
> >> >>women, especially as I age; but kids don't care if you're old and
> >> >>poor; they merely seek attention. Fifth, I am emotionally child-like
> >> >>and childish
> >> >>myself.
> >> >> I developed an elaborate rationalization ("stinkin' thinkin'
> >> >>") to justify my behavior. I believed that sexual pleasure was
> >> >>inherently
> >> >>good, and that some (not all) types of erotic play were age-
> >> >>appropriate for children, such as masturbation, fondling, and
> >> >>nudity. If sex were basically good, then sexual learning would begin
> >> >>as soon as the child showed interest.(Precocity in music is praised;
> >> >>but sexual ignorance is considered virtue.) I believed that my needs
> >> >>suited me to be an erotic mentor to an intelligent child.
> >> >> I believed that such relationships, with the knowledge and
> >> >>consent of the parents, could become acceptable in advanced
> >> >>societies such as Denmark or the Netherlands. And among avant-garde
> >> >>life- stylers
> >> >>here. But I failed to worry enough about the reaction of the
> >> >>straight state.
> >> >
> >> >Congratulations for having the courage to confront your sickness
> >> >and recognize it for what it is and persevering with your treatment..
> >>
> >> Brandon, you need to stop pretending you are some kind of expert in
> >> the field when you no nothing of any true worth about pedophilia. It
> >> is not a sickness, it is a natural preference, just the same as some
> >> people prefer strawberry ice cream and others prefer vanilla, and it
> >> falls along the natural continuum of human sexual preference -- if it
> >> did not, it would not have always existed, but it has.
> >>
> >> Pedophilia does not require treatment -- it requires understanding and
> >> acceptance; understanding that you cannot change it, understanding
> >> that you must live with it, understanding that you can really harm
> >> some wonderful people if you let it control you. Acceptance that you
> >> must be responsible for your own actions, acceptance that there is no
> >> excuse for harming others for your own selfish desires, acceptance
> >> that you and YOU ALONE can choose what you do.
> >>
> >> I know sickness -- I live with it daily. My auto-immune disease -- I
> >> can do nothing about but take my treatments and hope that they keep
> >> the disease at bay. My pain -- I can do nothing about but take my
> >> treatments and hope that they will be enough to keep me going. My
> >> depression -- I can do nothing about but take my medicine and hope
> >> that it will be enough to keep me out of the kind of despair that
> >> would cause me to hurt myself or someone else. These things I can do
> >> nothing about but accept the currently available treatments and hope
> >> that they are enough until better treatments come along. And, yes,
> >> some of those treatments do involve trying to manage my behaviors some
> >> since behavior can trigger sickness or make it worse.
> >>
> >> But my pedophilia -- there is no acceptable treatment for pedophilia
> >> -- because it isn't an illness and doesn't require treatment. It
> >> requires that I accept that this is the way it is, that I be
> >> responsible for my own behaviors and that I control what I do, not let
> >> desires control me. Chemical castration sounds like a nice little
> >> trick -- until you look at how well -- or how poorly -- it works. In
> >> the first place, it can only lessen sexual desire -- it cannot change
> >> behavior. And that's assuming that it works on the person being given
> >> the damn stuff! For many people, long-term depo-provera just doesn't
> >> do enough to slow down libido. AND, as I said, pedophilia is a
> >> feeling, child molesting is a behavior. You don't have to have sexual
> >> desire to act out those behaviors. Just as you don't have to have an
> >> erection to molest a child. In the long term, it doesn't work. For
> >> many people, it doesn't work at all. Trust me on this -- I've never
> >> taken depo-provera except for illness, but I was on steroids most of
> >> the years between my 18th and 36th birthdays -- drugs that are
> >> chemically very similar, and they did nothing to me except turn my
> >> body into a mess of pain from decalcified bones and connective
> >> tissues.
> >>
> >> Long-term cognitive-behavioral therapy is one of the few things that
> >> can be effective -- and do you know why? Because it teaches you to
> >> accept what you cannot change and to manage your behavior accordingly.
> >> Funny, but that's just what I've always said you had to do.
> >>
> >> You've proven time and time again that your "knowledge" of pedophilia
> >> is based on prejudiced belief in false stereotypes that media idiots
> >> push -- and I've shown you how wrong you are so many times that you
> >> now admit that you may have been mistaken in your preconceived notions
> >> about pedophilia and pedophiles. Isn't it time to let go of all of
> >> them and admit that I know what I'm talking about? Or will you bring
> >> up all the straw men that you so frequently post here from web sites
> >> that don't know a damn thing except how to whip up hatred and
> >> ignorance?
> >>
> >> What really bites my ass is why I still care enough to keep trying
> >> with you! I ought to just wash my hands of the whole damn mess and say
> >> fuck you and leave you to wallow in the ignorance that you refuse to
> >> let go of!
> >>
> >> If I had any brain cells left that weren't all too busy making sure I
> >> don't let myself do the wrong thing, I'd give you up for a lost cause.
> >>
> >> XXX is a lost cause. It astounds me that I can actually say that, but
> >> it's the truth. As long as he wants to continue to lie to himself and
> >> make excuses for doing things that he shouldn't do, then I can't help
> >> him. But I'm also willing to bet that he's a lot less certain of
> >> himself when it comes down to actually doing anything than he lets on.
> >> He might want to blame society for the metaphoric gun in his hand, but
> >> he knows damn well that it's his finger on the trigger.
> >
> >Maybe you should explain this last sentence. When have I ever blamed
> >society for the metaphoric gun in my hand? And what, exactly, is that
> >supposed to mean? Is the "gun" being a pedophile? Or is it the young
> >girls? I mean, that MIGHT explain the second part, that it is my finger
> >on the trigger. Is that what you are saying? What is the gun, exactly?
> >
> You've repeatedly blamed society for the harm that comes to children
> who become sexually involved with adults -- you blame society for
> making the gun.
And without the gun there would still be no damage.
> But the gun doesn't go off unless someone pulls the trigger; ie, no
> child is harmed unless an adult pulls the trigger and gets sexually
> involved with a child.
Again, without the gun there would be no damage. With the gun there could
be damage when someone else (not an adult) pulls the trigger (like when
society finds out that a 12-year-old impregnated his 13-year-old girlfriend
and charges both with sexual assaulting the other). Safer and better to do
away with the gun than to leave it around to be used. It is the gun that
is bad.
> I've used this same metaphor in the past -- I'm sorry, I thought that
> you understood it then and thus would understand it now.
I don't recall seeing it, before.
> -- 4s00th@hushmail.com
>
> If you send email, I will reply to it here at asbl
> (without showing your email addy)
> unless you ask me not to.
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