| Conductor Jokes |
EasyNews, UseNet made Ea .. |
| ::darkshadows:: (blood@thirsty.net) |
2008/06/21 22:42 |
A conductor and a violist are standing in the middle of the road.
which one do you run over first, and why?
The conductor. Business before pleasure.
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What do you have when a group of conductors are up to their necks in
wet concrete?
Not enough concrete.
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Did you hear about the planeload of conductors en route to the
European Festival?
The good news: it crashed.
The bad news: there were three empty seats on board.
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What's the difference between a symphony conductor and Dr Scholl's
footpads?
Dr Scholl's footpads buck up the feet.
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What's the difference between a pig and a symphony orchestra
conductor?
There are some things a pig just isn't willing to do.
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What is the ideal weight for a conductor?
About 2 1/2 lbs. including the urn.
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A musician arrived at the pearly gates.
"What did you do when you were alive?" asked St. Peter.
"I was the principal trombone player of the London Symphony Orchestra"
"Excellent! We have a vacancy in our celestial symphony orchestra for
a trombonist. Why don't you turn up at the next rehearsal."
So, when the time for the next rehearsal arrived our friend turned up
with his heavenly trombone [sic]. As he took his seat God moved, in a
mysterious way, to the podium and tapped his batton to bring the
players to attention. Our friend turned to the angelic second
trombonist (!) and whispered, "So, what's God like as a conductor?"
"Oh, he's O.K. most of the time, but occasionally he thinks he's von
Karajan."
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