090214A
------------
There are no refunds,
on failed dreams,
regardless of cause
or effect.
You cannot pick up the pieces
of the broken ones,
try as hard as you might,
to gather them in.
You could chase dreams,
wherever you wanted to,
only to watch them,
slipping and sliding away.
If nothing else,
that could keep you busied,
until the last dream,
suddenly ends.
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120214A
------------
Winter stretches out
across the lake.
An empty white hand,
that clutches
at various ghosts
adrift in the wind.
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120214B
------------
I was waiting for you,
but you left me waiting
for some other ending.
I have long ago lost all faith
in anything that begins
the way all things begin.
I am left to contemplating
the sudden destruction
of entire galaxies,
overwhelmed by the futility
of trying to leave a mark
on the remains of a tree.
I have no idea where you are,
hiding in the alphabet,
though I looked for you
wherever there were words.
Perhaps it was my mistake
to try to discover your name.
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120214C
------------
Silence kills,
as surely as a loud noise.
It can infect anything
with a kind of death,
that was once known,
only in larger defeats
when the clashing ended.
It was the expected words
that never came
that crushed the moment,
the way a leaf is torn off,
turned dry and brittle,
in the persistence of light,
only to be crushed underfoot.
We live in a violent world,
tending to mistake
one or another kind of approach
as being an act of kindness,
left with nothing of anticipations
beyond the thrust and parry
of a few moments.
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150214A
-----------
Icy glances,
and ice cold stares.
It is the season of ice,
when one is reminded
how frozen it all really is.
A cold bed,
and frost on the windows,
with everything ice cold,
as far as one can go,
in any direction.
Chilled conversations
about frigid subjects.
Icebergs drifting in seas
of various colors,
frosted with forgetting.
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150214B
-----------
Three tries
and it is over.
Three is enough
to ruin an illusion.
A hat trick
of failures.
Three witches
stirring a cauldron
of woes.
The cock always crows
three times
before any crucifixion.
Three nails are enough
to stop anything
from happening.
An odd number,
that stands in the way.
A baseball strike out,
failing first base.
There is a three headed dog
standing at the gates of Hell.
Monsters have been known
to have three heads.
Three was never lucky,
but it tends to stand up
to the test of time.
----------------------
150214C
-----------
Defeated and in retreat,
no longer venturing,
into lonely crowded spaces.
Loneliness is less lonely
when suffered alone.
The last honest expression,
appears in your own mirror.
Alone one can be restless,
and discontented,
without anyone knowing.
No need to wear a false face
to hide mercuric jitters
moving as quicksilver,
from one thing to another.
You learn to drop reality
before it drops you.
Learning to anticipate
the moment of death,
and how to turn to escape,
before becoming tangled up
in various forms of perishing.
Most of all learning to avoid,
all those types of love
that try to change you
into whatever you don't want to be,
turning you into an ingredient
in a recipe of violence and greed,
to be pressed into a mold.
The half baked schemes
that lead to nothing special
beyond the usual styles of boredom,
laced with limited guarantees,
that have too many conditions
detailed on the warning labels,
if you know how to read them.
You never meet anyone
who resembles any of the characters
that appeared in the movies,
or in those stories that you read.
The kind of people
that you might have married,
in one or another unguarded moment.
You get to say "no" so many times,
that your tongue becomes paralyzed
as soon as you try to say "yes",
afraid of the same old patterns,
sending you on another bad trip,
as if having swallowed down something
of the wrong type of substance.
There is always that persistent fear,
of being done in to so much conformity
that you then have to kill yourself,
having lost the ability
to live with that type of person,
and left to nothing but hanging around,
watching your dreams fade away.
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150214D
-----------
She didn't know or really care,
but he would have loved her,
in ways she had never been loved.
Of course that is how it ends,
because it always ends that way,
in that forbidden zone,
where the rules are strict
and the penalties quick and harsh.
The sort of thing that ruins
the contemplation of anything less,
and leaves the already forfeit soul
trying to find any possible way out
of endless strings of disappointments,
that so easily scar up the calendar,
from one phase of the moon to another,
until one night it all goes dark.
Sometimes everything is about
what we are most severely denied.
Making everything else pale away
in any statistical moonlit comparison,
the way a fade and dissolve takes away
one contrived scene after another,
signifying something about place and time,
in a more precise and methodical way.
The billion things one has not done yet,
that one would threaten to do,
if given even half a fraction of a chance.
Watching scarce examples of freedom,
collecting their take of the revenues,
and riding away in black limousines
always looking good in the latest fashions,
always lying about how easy it is.
Listening to Leonard Cohen's "Suzanne",
and almost wishing that I had known,
touching her perfect body with my mind.
We are led to the common belief
that we all need to find saviors,
until losing all remaining desire
to ever chance to be saved,
from a daughter of Eve and Lilith.
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150214E
-----------
I am only one of those special monkeys
who are tasked to keep striking the keys,
in various strange sequences,
on the chance that one of us might eventually
break the secret code,
that frees us all from any more routine.
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150214F
-----------
He watched her lips,
the way Icarus watched the sun.
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150214G
------------
Sometimes one is touched,
too many times,
in too many of the wrong ways,
without any rules being broken.
It makes some people feel good,
when they can get a cheap blessing,
for a hand on a shoulder,
or a touch on a hand.
Something like a jester to a king,
asking for the sun to shine.
Strange how the jester never yields
any semblance to his power.
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