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From: "Thomas Keske" <ptkeske@comcast.net>
Newsgroups: alt.surrealism
Subject: Making the News
Date: Sat, 14 Jun 2008 19:24:38 -0400
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Xref: news.nzbot.com alt.surrealism:2520
MAKING THE NEWS
It's easy! Just mix-and-match, selecting from
the conventient menu options:
A) New York, NY ((Reuters) -
B) Miami, Florida (AP) -
C) Las Vegas, NV (CNN) -
D) Minneapolis, MN (UPI) -
Today, a
A) crane
B) bridge
C) Amtrack train
D) chemical plant
D) cooling tower at a nuclear reactor
suddenly
A) collapsed
B) collided
C) burned down
D) blew up
D) rolled over and gave out
causing the deaths of an estimated <pick-one> people
A) 2
B) 200
C) 2000
D) 200,0000
E) 2,000,0000
Investigators are uncertain what went wrong. Only yesterday,
a full inspection had concluded that everything was
A) A-OK!
B) ready to Rock & Roll
C) fit as a fiddle
D) sound as a dollar
E) meeting rigorous and exacting quality standard requirements
A full investigation is underway. Investigators
say that at this time, the tragedy does not appear
to involve:
A) Al-Qaeda
B) demonically possessed pigeons or poets
C) gay dwarfs and trolls
C) inadequate management oversight and controls
This tragic event appears to be
A) completely random
B) an example of life's meaningless and capricious cruelty
C) part of an ominous pattern
D) a harbinger of worse things to come
E) nothing to worry about
and probably represents
A) a serious breach of security
B) chickens coming home to roost
C) overdue payback
D) the decline of the Empire
E) a minor, annoying blip on an otherwise fuzzy screen
State officials vow to get the bottom of the matter,
and assure the public that such an event
A) was a complete fluke
B) will not be tolerated
C) could never happen again in a million years
D) was probably the will of God
E) is no reason to stop shopping
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