I had a terrible acident.I had the right of way but the other guy had the
truck.
Every time my wife has an accident in the kitchen I get it for dinner.
He's so unlucky that he gets into accidents that started out happening to
someone else.
He was killed in a terrible accident. He flew his plane into a tunnel
without checking the train timetable.
How did the accident happen?
My wife fell asleep in the back of the car.
To avoid scalding your hands in hot water, feel the water first before
putting your hands in.
Safety tip:- when you drop cigarette ash on the carpet, sill a little of
your beer to prevent a fire.
What happens when you cross a trans-atlantic aircraft with an accountant?
A boring 747.
An accountant is having a hard time sleeping and goes to see his doctor.
"Doctor, I just can't get to sleep at night."
"Have you tried counting sheep?'
"That's the problem - I make a mistake and then spend three hours trying
to find it."
How does an alien count to 35?
On its fingers.
What did the alien say to the garden?
Take me to your weeder.
Dont go away, lots more to come LOL.
Mercury.
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