| Diet Excuses |
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| ::darkshadows:: (bat@cave.org) |
2009/03/20 05:01 |
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From: "::darkshadows::" <bat@cave.org>
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Subject: Diet Excuses
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Date: Fri, 20 Mar 2009 06:01:49 -0500
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Diet Excuses
But the doughnut was calling my name.
But it was my birthday, so I had to eat the whole cake.
I had to get the bitter taste out of my mouth from eating the
so-called dish, so I had an ice cream.
If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, it has no calories.
If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, the calories in the candy
bar are canceled out by the diet soda.
If you fatten up everyone else around you, then you look thinner.
Cookie pieces contain no fat -- the process of breaking causes fat
leakage.
Things licked off knives and spoons have no calories if you are in the
process of preparing something. Examples are peanut butter on a knife
making a sandwich and ice cream on a spoon making a sundae.
Only eat things that have been broken into pieces; that way, all the
calories fall out.
Chocolate is a vegetable. How, you ask? Chocolate is derived from
cacao beans. Bean = vegetable. Sugar is derived from either sugar CANE
or sugar BEETS. Both are plants, which places them in the vegetable
category. Thus, chocolate is a vegetable.
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