What do you call 100,000 lawyers drowning in the Pacific ocean?
A good start.
=====
One day three dwarfs went walking and saw a sign for a "World Records"
competition. The first one entered the 'smallest feet' contest and
won. The second one entered the 'smallest hands' contest and won.. The
third entered the 'smallest penis' contest -- and lost. He came away,
very dejected.
"What happened?" asked his friends.
"Who's Bill Clinton?"
=====
An Amish couple had just been married and had gone to a hotel for
their honeymoon. The Amish man went to the front desk and asked for a
room. He said this occasion was very special to them and they needed a
good room. The clerk asked if he wanted the bridal. The Amish fellow
thought about it a while and then replied, 'No, I guess not, I'll just
hold onto her ears until she gets used to it.'
=====
The blonde walks into a drugstore and asks the pharmacist for some
bottom deodorant. The pharmacist, a little bemused, explains to the
woman that they don't sell anything called bottom deodorant, and never
have. Unfazed, the blonde assures him that she has been buying the
stuff from this store on a regular basis, and would like some more.
''I'm sorry,'' says the pharmacist, ''we don't have any.''
''But I always get it here,'' says the blonde.
''Do you have the container it comes in?''
''Yes!'' says the blonde, ''I will go and get it.''
She returns with the container and hands it to the pharmacist, who
looks at it and says to her, ''This is just a normal stick of underarm
deodorant.''
The annoyed blonde snatches the container back and reads out loud from
the container: ''To apply, push up bottom.''
=====
You know you're a redneck when at your wedding you toast with
Budweiser.
=====
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