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Newsgroups: alt.fan.rolex
Subject: Re: Stories 20
From: WingedMessenger <Boy@FlyingHigh.com>
References: <sgvo54psgqnrij9r5a9i14sokk328amh8d@4ax.com>
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Date: Sat, 21 Jun 2008 05:58:52 GMT
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"::darkshadows::" <blood@thirsty.net> wrote in
news:sgvo54psgqnrij9r5a9i14sokk328amh8d@4ax.com:
>
>
> I was on a Southwest flight once that was delayed at the gate
> after everyone boarded. The flight attendant said over the
> intercom, "We're sorry for the delay. The machine that normally
> rips the handles off your luggage is broken, so we're having to
> do it by hand. We should be finished and on our way shortly."
>
> =====
>
> On a British Airways flight from Johannesburg, a middle-aged,
> well-off white South African lady has found herself sitting next
> to a black man. She called the cabin crew attendant over to
> complain about her seating.
>
> "What seems to be the problem, Madam?" asked the
> attendant.
>
> "Can't you see?" she said, "You've sat me next to a kafir. I
> can't possibly sit next to this disgusting human. Find me
> another seat!"
>
> "Please calm down, Madam." the stewardess replied. "The
> flight is very full today, but I'll tell you what I'll do. I'll
> go and check to see if we have any seats available in club or
> first class".
>
> The woman cocks a snooty look at the outraged black man
> beside her (not to mention many of the surrounding
> passengers). A few minutes later the stewardess returns with
> the good news, which she delivers to the lady, who cannot help
> but look at the people around her with a smug and
> self-satisfied grin.
>
> "Madam, unfortunately, as I suspected, economy is full. I've
> spoken to the cabin services director, and club is also full.
> However, we do have one seat in first class".
>
> Before the lady has a chance to answer, the stewardess
> continues: "It is most extraordinary to make this kind of
> upgrade, however, and I have had to get special permission
> from the captain. But, given the circumstances, the captain felt
> that it was outrageous that someone should be forced to sit
> next such an obnoxious person."
>
> With that, she turned to the black man and said: "So if you'd
> like to get your things, sir, I have your seat ready for you..."
>
> At which point, the surrounding passengers stood and gave a
> standing ovation while the man walked to the front of the
> plane . . .
>
> =====
>
>
> The following are actual stories told by travellers from Mendocino
> County, CA to travel agents in the UK. (And you wonder why US citizens
> generally score less than the rest of the world on geography...)
>
> A man called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was
> wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an
> ocean-view room. I tried to explain that is not possible, since
> Orlando is in the middle of the state. He replied, "Don't lie to
> me. I looked on the map and Florida is a very thin state."
>
> A client called in inquiring about a package to Hawaii. After going
> over all the cost info, she asked, "Would it be cheaper to fly to
> California and then take the train to Hawaii?"
>
> I got a call from a woman who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to
> explain the length of the flight and the passport information when
> she interrupted me with "I'm not trying to make you look stupid but
> Capetown is in Massachusetts." Without trying to make her look like
> the stupid one, I calmly explained, "Cape Cod is in Massachusetts,
> Capetown is in Africa." Her response... click.
>
> A secretary called in looking for hotel in Los Angeles. She gave me
> various names off a list, none of which I could find I finally had
> her fax me the list. To my surprise, it was a list of hotels in New
> Orleans, Louisiana. She thought the LA stood for Los Angeles, and
> that New Orleans was a suburb of LA Worst of all, when I called her
> back, she was not even embarrassed.
>
> I got a call from a man who asked, "is it possible to see England from
> Canada?" I said, "No." He said "But they look so close on the map."
>
> Another man called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas. When I
> pulled up the reservation, I noticed he had a one-hour lay-over in
> Dallas. When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, "I
> heard Dallas was a big airport, and I need a car to drive between
> the gates to save time."
>
> ******If you have ever been to DFW airport, this really is not that
> ridiculous because of the way it is laid out **********
>
>
> A nice lady just called. She needed to know how it was possible that
> her flight from Detroit left at 8:20am and got into Chicago at
> 8:33am. I tried to explain that Michigan was an hour ahead of
> Illinois, but she could not understand the concept of time zones.
> Finally I told her the plane went very fast, and she bought that!
>
> A woman called and asked, "Do airlines put your physical description
> on your bag so they know who's luggage belongs to who?" I said,
> "No, why do you ask?" She replied, "Well, when I checked in with
> the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said FAT, and I'm
> overweight, is there any connection?" After putting her on hold for
> a minute while I "looked into it" (I was actually laughing), I came
> back and explained the city code for Fresno is FAT, and that the
> airline was just putting a destination tag on her luggage.
>
> I just got off the phone with a man who asked, "How do I know which
> plane to get on?" I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he
> replied, "I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these
> planes have numbers on them."
>
> A woman called and said, "I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola on one of those
> computer planes." I asked if she meant to fly to Pensacola on a
> commuter plane. She said, "Yeah, whatever."
>
> A business man called and had a question about the documents he needed
> in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion abou
> passports, I reminded him he needed a visa. "Oh no I don't, I've
> been to China many times and never had to have one of those." I
> double checked, and sure enough, his stay required a visa. When I
> told him this he said, "Look, I've been to China four times and
> every time they have accepted my American Express."
>
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`
>
>
>
>
This is indeed a great day for the group, jokes with quality!!!! Someone
sent them from UK LOL
Mercury.
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