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EasyNews, UseNet made Ea .. |
| ::darkshadows:: (blood@thirsty.net) |
2008/05/28 19:52 |
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From: "::darkshadows::" <blood@thirsty.net>
Newsgroups: alt.fan.rolex
Subject: Story Page
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Date: Thu, 29 May 2008 01:52:41 GMT
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Can you imagine working for this organization? It has less than 550
employees with the following statistics:
*29 have been accused of spousal abuse
*7 have been arrested for fraud
*19 have been accused of writing bad checks
*117 have bankrupted at least two businesses
*3 have been arrested for assault
*71 cannot get a credit card due to bad credit
*14 have been arrested on drug related charges
*8 have been arrested for shoplifting
*21 are current defendants in lawsuits
*In 1998 alone, 84 were stopped for drunk driving
Can you guess which organization this is?
Give up?
It's the 535 members of The United States Congress;
the same group that cranks the laws designed to
keep the rest of us in line.
=====
A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter
and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man
pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the
clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and
fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash
he got from the drawer? Fifteen dollars. [If someone points a gun at
you and gives you money, was a crime committed?]
=====
I was on a Reno Air flight from San Jose to Las Vegas and the
plane was taxiing to take off. The flight attendant came on the
intercom and said, "For those of you currently reading our in-
flight magazine, please place it back in the seat pocket in front
of you, as it is for IN-FLIGHT only." Later on, once we were
airborne, he came back and said, "If you're sitting on the right
side of the plane, look out the window and you will see big,
white, fluffy clouds. If you're on the left side of the plane, you'll
see ... big, white, fluffy clouds. Directly beneath you is...your
luggage."
Once we landed, he told us to remain seated with our seatbelts
fastened until we were fully stopped at the gate. Just as we
were about to reach the gate, he said, "Don't even think about
it!" He also said, "We have a man onboard who is celebrating
his 100th birthday and this is his first flight! It is also probably
his last flight." ('Boo's' from the passengers.) "So please, when
you walk by the cockpit , wish the pilot a happy birthday."
=====
Texas Survivor
Contestants have to drive from Amarillo to Tyler with a bumper sticker
that says "I'm a gay atheist vegetarian...and I'm here to take your
guns."
...If anybody gets there, they win.
=====
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