| Re: More Jokes |
EasyNews, UseNet made Ea .. |
| ::darkshadows:: (blood@thirsty.net) |
2008/05/28 10:22 |
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From: "::darkshadows::" <blood@thirsty.net>
Newsgroups: alt.fan.rolex
Subject: Re: More Jokes
Message-ID: <ll1r341omnbb4v2hp6sq8d7f467797g2cr@4ax.com>
References: <sv5p34d0g703k1c8o727gn0o23mh8nc3ci@4ax.com> <myaddress-156C95.16474028052008@unknown.ams.astraweb.com>
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Date: Wed, 28 May 2008 16:22:56 GMT
Xref: news.nzbot.com alt.fan.rolex:6624
On Wed, 28 May 2008 16:47:40 +0200, wlg <myaddress@server.co> wrote:
>In article <sv5p34d0g703k1c8o727gn0o23mh8nc3ci@4ax.com>,
> "::darkshadows::" <blood@thirsty.net> wrote:
>
>> What do Viagra And Disney Land have in common?
>>
>> They both cause you to stand around for an hour waiting for a two
>> minute ride!
>>
>> -----------------
>>
>> A woman walks into a tattoo parlour and asks 'Do you do custom work?'
>>
>> 'Why of course!'
>>
>> 'Good. I'd like a portrait of Robert Redford on the inside of my
>> right thigh, and a portrait of Paul Newman on the inside of
>> my left thigh.'
>>
>> 'No problem,' says the artist. 'Strip from the waist down and get
>> up on the table.'
>>
>> After two hours of hard work, the artist finishes.
>> The woman sits up and examines the tattoos.
>>
>> 'That doesn't look like them!' she complains loudly.
>>
>> 'Oh yes it does,' the artist says indignantly, 'and I
>> can prove it.' With that, he runs out of the shop
>> and grabs the first man off the street he can find;
>> it happens to be the town drunk.
>>
>> 'Well, what do you think?' the woman asks, spreading
>> her legs. 'Do you know who these men are?'
>>
>> The drunk studies the tattoos for a couple of minutes
>> and says. 'I'm not sure who the guys on either side are,
>> but the fellow in the middle is definately Willie Nelson!'
>>
>> -------------------
>>
>> A husband emerged from the bathroom naked and was climbing into bed
>> when his wife complained, as usual, "I have a headache."
>> "Perfect" her husband said. "I was just in the bathroom powdering my
>> penis with aspirin.
>> You can take it orally or as a suppository,...
>> it's up to you!"
>>
>> -----------------------
>>
>> A guy is going on a tour of a factory that produces various latex
>> products.
>> At the first stop, he is shown the machine that manufactures
>> baby-bottle nipples. The machine makes a loud "hiss-pop" noise. "The
>> hiss is the rubber being injected into the mold," explains the guide.
>> "The popping sound is the needle poking a hole in the end of the
>> nipple."
>>
>> Later, the tour reaches the part of the factory where condoms are
>> manufactured. The machine makes a "Hiss. Hiss. Hiss. Hiss-pop" noise.
>> "Wait a minute!" says the man taking the tour. "I understand what the
>> 'hiss, hiss,' is, but what's that 'pop' every so often?"
>>
>> "Oh, it's just the same as in the baby-bottle nipple machine," says
>> the guide. "It pokes a hole in every fourth condom."
>>
>> "Well, that can't be good for the condoms!"
>>
>> "Yeah, but it's great for the baby-bottle nipple business!"
>>
>> -------------------
>>
>> In the Sex Ed class the teacher says, "All right, class, I want you to
>> go home and come back tomorrow with as many positions as you can think
>> of for making sex."
>> The next day she says to Little Johnny in the back, "Well, John, how
>> many positions did you come up with?"
>> Johnny says, "Seventy-three."
>> The teacher says, "Oh, my goodness...uh...very good, John, very
>> good..."
>> She calls on Becky in the front and says, "All right, Becky, how about
>> you?"
>> Becky says, "Gee, teacher, I only came up with one...where the guy
>> just lays on top of the girl."
>> Johnny yells, "Seventy-four."
>>
>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
>The way I heard the rubber factory joke, the last line read:
>"Right! But we're not going to fuck ourselves out of the nipple business"
That'll work
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