In article <sv5p34d0g703k1c8o727gn0o23mh8nc3ci@4ax.com>,
"::darkshadows::" <blood@thirsty.net> wrote:
> What do Viagra And Disney Land have in common?
>
> They both cause you to stand around for an hour waiting for a two
> minute ride!
>
> -----------------
>
> A woman walks into a tattoo parlour and asks 'Do you do custom work?'
>
> 'Why of course!'
>
> 'Good. I'd like a portrait of Robert Redford on the inside of my
> right thigh, and a portrait of Paul Newman on the inside of
> my left thigh.'
>
> 'No problem,' says the artist. 'Strip from the waist down and get
> up on the table.'
>
> After two hours of hard work, the artist finishes.
> The woman sits up and examines the tattoos.
>
> 'That doesn't look like them!' she complains loudly.
>
> 'Oh yes it does,' the artist says indignantly, 'and I
> can prove it.' With that, he runs out of the shop
> and grabs the first man off the street he can find;
> it happens to be the town drunk.
>
> 'Well, what do you think?' the woman asks, spreading
> her legs. 'Do you know who these men are?'
>
> The drunk studies the tattoos for a couple of minutes
> and says. 'I'm not sure who the guys on either side are,
> but the fellow in the middle is definately Willie Nelson!'
>
> -------------------
>
> A husband emerged from the bathroom naked and was climbing into bed
> when his wife complained, as usual, "I have a headache."
> "Perfect" her husband said. "I was just in the bathroom powdering my
> penis with aspirin.
> You can take it orally or as a suppository,...
> it's up to you!"
>
> -----------------------
>
> A guy is going on a tour of a factory that produces various latex
> products.
> At the first stop, he is shown the machine that manufactures
> baby-bottle nipples. The machine makes a loud "hiss-pop" noise. "The
> hiss is the rubber being injected into the mold," explains the guide.
> "The popping sound is the needle poking a hole in the end of the
> nipple."
>
> Later, the tour reaches the part of the factory where condoms are
> manufactured. The machine makes a "Hiss. Hiss. Hiss. Hiss-pop" noise.
> "Wait a minute!" says the man taking the tour. "I understand what the
> 'hiss, hiss,' is, but what's that 'pop' every so often?"
>
> "Oh, it's just the same as in the baby-bottle nipple machine," says
> the guide. "It pokes a hole in every fourth condom."
>
> "Well, that can't be good for the condoms!"
>
> "Yeah, but it's great for the baby-bottle nipple business!"
>
> -------------------
>
> In the Sex Ed class the teacher says, "All right, class, I want you to
> go home and come back tomorrow with as many positions as you can think
> of for making sex."
> The next day she says to Little Johnny in the back, "Well, John, how
> many positions did you come up with?"
> Johnny says, "Seventy-three."
> The teacher says, "Oh, my goodness...uh...very good, John, very
> good..."
> She calls on Becky in the front and says, "All right, Becky, how about
> you?"
> Becky says, "Gee, teacher, I only came up with one...where the guy
> just lays on top of the girl."
> Johnny yells, "Seventy-four."
>
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The way I heard the rubber factory joke, the last line read:
"Right! But we're not going to fuck ourselves out of the nipple business"
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