A couple just moved into hotel. And the hotel clerk asks the
man after helping him with his luggage.
- Anything else?
- NO, thanks,
- Maybe, your wife needs something ?
- Oh, yeah. Thank you for your reminder. Do you sell greeting
cards ?
============
In America the late night news used to broadcast this message:
"It's 11 o'clock do you know where your children are?
In England they say
"Its 11 o'clock do you know where your wife is?
In France they say "It's 11 o'clock do you know where your husband
is?"
In Poland they say Its 11 o'clock do you know what time it is?"
===========
Q: Why was the snowman smiling?
A: He heard the snowblower coming!
=============
Grant's Bar and Casino:
Liquor in the front,
Poker in the rear.
=============
I recently had surgery on my hand, and asked the doctor if, after
surgery, I would be able to play the banjo.
He said, "I'm doing surgery on your hand, not giving you a lobotomy."
=============
How are lawyers like sperm?
One out of a million turns out to be a human being.
============
A man, called to testify at the IRS, asked his accountant for advice
on what to wear. "Wear your shabbiest clothing. Let him think you are
a pauper." Then he asked his lawyer the same question, but got the
opposite advice. "Do not let them intimidate you. Wear your most
elegant suit and tie." Confused, the man went to his rabbi, told him
of the conflicting advice, and requested some resolution of the
dilemma. "Let me tell you a story," replied the rabbi. "A woman, about
to be married, asked her mother what to wear on her wedding night.
'Wear a heavy, long, flannel nightgown that goes right up to your
neck.' But when she asked her best friend, she got conflicting advice.
'Wear your most sexy negligee, with a V-neck right down to your navel.
The man protested: "What does all this have to do with my problem with
the IRS?" "No matter what you wear, you are going to get screwed."
==============
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