Jokes About The Irishmen
1
"Hey," said a new arrival in the pub, "I've got some great Irish
jokes."
"Before you start," said the big bloke in the corner, ", I'm Irish."
"Don't worry," said the newcomer, "I'll tell them slowly."
2
Two Irishmen were sitting in a four engined plane flying back from a
shopping trip to Paris when the captains voice came over the
loudspeaker. "Ladies and Gentlemen, one of the engines appears to have
failed. There's nothing to worry about but we will be 15 minutes late
in landing at Gatwick."
Five minutes later he said, "Nothing to worry about, ladies and
Gentlemen, but one of the other engines has failed, and we will now be
an hour late."
A moment later, "Er...sorry about this ladies and gentlemen, but the
third engine has also given up the ghost and we will now be two hours
later than expected."
One of the Irishmen tapped his friend on the shoulder. "Good heavens,
Patrick, do you realise that if the other engine fails, we'll be here
all night ?"
3
There is a story about the Irishman who drowned while he was digging a
grave for a friend.
He'd wanted to be buried at sea.
4
"Well, Mrs. O'Connor, so you want a divorce?" the solicitor questioned
his client.
"Tell me about it. Do you have a grudge?"
"Oh, no," replied Mrs. O'Connor. "Shure now, we have a carport."
The solicitor tried again. "Well, does the man beat you up?"
"No, no," said Mrs. O'Connor, looking puzzled. "Oi'm always first out
of bed."
Still hopeful, the solicitor tried once again.
"What I'm trying to find out are what grounds you have."
"Bless ye, sor. We live in a flat -- not even a window box, let alone
grounds."
"Mrs. O'Connor," the solicitor said in considerable exasperation, "you
need a reason that the court can consider.
"What is the reason for you seeking this divorce?"
"Ah, well now," said the lady,
"Shure it's because the man can't hold an intelligent conversation."
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