| Re: Learning from children |
EasyNews, UseNet made Ea .. |
| ::darkshadows:: (here@there.net) |
2007/02/24 10:24 |
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From: "::darkshadows::" <here@there.net>
Newsgroups: alt.fan.rolex
Subject: Re: Learning from children
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Date: Sat, 24 Feb 2007 17:24:53 GMT
Xref: news.nzbot.com alt.fan.rolex:3654
On Sat, 24 Feb 2007 06:22:31 GMT, WingedMessenger <Boy@Flying.high>
wrote:
>"::darkshadows::" <here@there.net> wrote in
>news:9rkut257gajtpv8gcanlkm1pmdq1djei8m@4ax.com:
>
>>
>> Learn From Children
>>
>> Some things I've learned from my children over the years...
>>
>> 1. There is no such thing as child-proofing your house.
>>
>> 2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with
>> roller blades, they can ignite.
>>
>> 3. A 3 year-old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded
>> restaurant.
>>
>> 4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong
>> enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing batman underwear and a
>> superman cape.
>>
>> 5. It is strong enough however to spread paint on all four walls of a
>> 20 by 20 foot room.
>>
>> 6. Baseballs make marks on ceilings.
>>
>> 7. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on.
>>
>> 8. When using the ceiling fan as a bat you have to throw the ball up a
>> few times before you get a hit.
>>
>> 9. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
>>
>> 10. The glass in windows (even double pane) doesn't stop a baseball
>> hit by a ceiling fan.
>>
>> 11. When you hear the toilet flush and the words Uh-oh, it's already
>> too late.
>>
>> 12. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
>>
>> 13. A six year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36
>> year old man says they can only do it in the movies.
>>
>> 14. A magnifying glass can start a fire even on an overcast day.
>>
>> 15. If you use a waterbed as home plate while wearing baseball shoe it
>> does not leak-it explodes.
>>
>> 16. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq foot
>> house 4 inches deep.
>>
>> 17. Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a four year old.
>>
>> 18. Duplos will not.
>>
>> 19. Play Dough and Microwave should never be used in the same
>> sentence.
>>
>> 20. Super glue is forever.
>>
>> 21. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still
>> can't walk on water.
>>
>> 22. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
>>
>> 23. VCR's do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials show
>> they do.
>>
>> 24. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
>>
>> 25. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
>>
>> 26. You probably do not want to know what that odor is.27. Always look
>> in the oven before you turn it on.
>>
>> 28. Plastic toys do not like ovens.
>>
>> 29. The fire department in Austin has at least a 5 minute response
>> time.
>>
>> 30. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earth worms
>> dizzy.
>>
>> 31. It will however make cats dizzy.
>>
>> 32. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
>>
>> 33. Quiet does not necessarily mean don't worry.
>>
>> 34. A good sense of humor will get you through most problems in life
>> (unfortunately, mostly in retrospect).
>>
>
>When playing ball make sure you have your hands in the most strategic
>places to save much pain and damage.
>
>Mercury.
This must be some veiled reference to "cricket".
darkshadows
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