"::darkshadows::" <here@there.net> wrote in
news:9rkut257gajtpv8gcanlkm1pmdq1djei8m@4ax.com:
>
> Learn From Children
>
> Some things I've learned from my children over the years...
>
> 1. There is no such thing as child-proofing your house.
>
> 2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with
> roller blades, they can ignite.
>
> 3. A 3 year-old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded
> restaurant.
>
> 4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong
> enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing batman underwear and a
> superman cape.
>
> 5. It is strong enough however to spread paint on all four walls of a
> 20 by 20 foot room.
>
> 6. Baseballs make marks on ceilings.
>
> 7. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on.
>
> 8. When using the ceiling fan as a bat you have to throw the ball up a
> few times before you get a hit.
>
> 9. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
>
> 10. The glass in windows (even double pane) doesn't stop a baseball
> hit by a ceiling fan.
>
> 11. When you hear the toilet flush and the words Uh-oh, it's already
> too late.
>
> 12. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
>
> 13. A six year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36
> year old man says they can only do it in the movies.
>
> 14. A magnifying glass can start a fire even on an overcast day.
>
> 15. If you use a waterbed as home plate while wearing baseball shoe it
> does not leak-it explodes.
>
> 16. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq foot
> house 4 inches deep.
>
> 17. Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a four year old.
>
> 18. Duplos will not.
>
> 19. Play Dough and Microwave should never be used in the same
> sentence.
>
> 20. Super glue is forever.
>
> 21. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still
> can't walk on water.
>
> 22. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
>
> 23. VCR's do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials show
> they do.
>
> 24. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
>
> 25. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
>
> 26. You probably do not want to know what that odor is.27. Always look
> in the oven before you turn it on.
>
> 28. Plastic toys do not like ovens.
>
> 29. The fire department in Austin has at least a 5 minute response
> time.
>
> 30. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earth worms
> dizzy.
>
> 31. It will however make cats dizzy.
>
> 32. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
>
> 33. Quiet does not necessarily mean don't worry.
>
> 34. A good sense of humor will get you through most problems in life
> (unfortunately, mostly in retrospect).
>
When playing ball make sure you have your hands in the most strategic
places to save much pain and damage.
Mercury.
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