| Re: More Bagpipe Jokes |
EasyNews, UseNet made Ea .. |
| ::darkshadows:: (here@there.net) |
2007/02/18 13:09 |
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From: "::darkshadows::" <here@there.net>
Newsgroups: alt.fan.rolex
Subject: Re: More Bagpipe Jokes
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Date: Sun, 18 Feb 2007 20:09:28 GMT
Xref: news.nzbot.com alt.fan.rolex:3589
On Sun, 18 Feb 2007 06:26:12 GMT, WingedMessenger <Boy@Flying.high>
wrote:
>"::darkshadows::" <here@there.net> wrote in
>news:85qft2pdhrnsoqo8jj850vv26sndmj3jt1@4ax.com:
>
>>
>>
>> Q. Why do pipers have such large families?
>> A. Their wives will do ANYTHING to get them to stop playing.
>>
>>
>> Q. What's the difference between a bagpipe and an onion?
>> A. No one cries when you chop up a bagpipe.
>>
>>
>> Q. What's the difference between a bagpipe and a trampoline?
>> A. You take off your shoes when you jump on a trampoline.
>>
>>
>> Q. How do you put a twinkle in a drummer's eye?
>> A. Shine a flashlight in his ear!
>> Contributed by a piper who wished to remain anonymous for family
>> reasons!
>>
>>
>> Q. What's the difference between a piper and a mutual fund?
>> A. The mutual fund eventually matures and earns money.
>> Q. How can you tell when bagpipes are out of tune?
>> A. Someone's blowing them.
>>
>>
>> Q. How do you get a dozen bagpipers to play in tune?
>> A-1. Shoot 11 of them.
>> A-2. Shoot all of them.
>> A-3. Who the hell wants a dozen bagpipers?
>>
>>
>> Q. How do you get two pipers to play in perfect unison?
>> A. Shoot one.
>>
>>
>> Q. How do you get a piper out of a tree?
>> A. Cut the noose.
>>
>>
>> A. One squeals a lot and the other is a walrus.
>> This and the following Q&A's were contributed by a female piper who
>> wishes to remain anonymous.
>>
>>
>> Q. How does a piper measure his/her IQ?
>> A. With a tire gauge.
>>
>>
>> Q. How do you plant dope?
>> A. Bury a piper.
>>
>>
>> Q Why did God give pipers 2% more brain than horses?
>>
>>
>> Q. How do you kill a piper?
>> A. Fix his hearing aids.
>>
>>
>> A. I keep hearing about them but never see any.
>>
>>
>> Q. How can you tell if a female piper is having a bad day?
>> she put the reed.
>>
>>
>> A. Nobody cares if the bagpipe crashes into a wall at a high speed.
>>
>>
>> A. Bigfoot has been spotted.
>>
>>
>> A. The bucket!
>>
>>
>> A. You get angry when you step on the cowshit.
>>
>>
>> Q. What does a drummer say when you blow in his ear?
>> A. Thanks for the refill.
>>
>>
>
>May Anubis wrap you in linen and inter you in a bevo crap pit LOL.
>
>Mercury.
Oh yeah.
I'll get back to you on that.
LOL,
darkshadows
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