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Newsgroups: alt.fan.rolex
Subject: Re: World records that you wont find in the Guinness Book of Records...
From: WingedMessenger <Boy@Flying.high>
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Date: Fri, 16 Feb 2007 06:37:37 GMT
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"::darkshadows::" <here@there.net> wrote in
news:6ot9t219f3ndufeb3s4b3ekbu7v93qdi39@4ax.com:
>
> Not In Guinness
>
> World records that you wont find in the Guinness Book of Records...
>
> MOST SEMEN SWALLOWED
> Michelle Monahan had 1.7 pints of semen pumped out of her stomach in
> Los Angeles in July 1991.
>
>
>
> LONGEST PUBES
> Maoni Vi of Cape Town has hair measuring 32 inches from the armpits
> and 28 inches from her vagina.
>
>
>
> MOST CAVERNOUS CROTCH
> Linda Manning of Los Angeles could, without preparation, completely
> insert a lubricated American football into her vagina.
>
>
>
> ZITS
> In July 1987, Carl Chadwick of Rugby, England, squeezed a zit and
> projected a detectable amount of yellow pus a distance of 7ft 1inch.
>
>
>
> WORST DRINK
> The most horrible drink to be considered a beverage and safely drunk
> is Khoona. It is drunk by Afghani tribesmen on their wedding night and
> consists of a small amount of still-warm very recently attained bull
> semen. It is believed to be a potent aphrodisiac.
>
>
>
> MOST OFFENSIVE COCKTAIL
> This is available from a few select bars in New York. It contains
> tomato juice, a double shot of vodka, a spoonful of French mustard and
> a dash of lime. It is not mixed, but served with a tampon (unused)
> instead of a cocktail umbrella and is known as a 'Cunt Pump'.
>
>
>
> GREATEST DISTANCE ATTAINED FOR A JET OF SEMEN
> Horst Schultz achieved 18 ft 9 in with a 'substantial' amount of
> seminal fluid. Healso hold the records for the greatest height (12 ft
> 4in) and the greatest speed of ejaculation, or muzzle velocity, with
> 42.7mph.
>
>
>
> LONGEST TURD
> The longest dump ever verified was produced by an American, who
> produced a 'staggering turd' over a period of 2 hr 12 mins which was
> officially measured at 12 ft 2in. The offender is banned from 134
> washrooms
> in his state.
>
>
>
> MOST PROLONGED FART
> Bernard Clemmens of London managed to sustain a fart for an officially
> recorded time of 2 mins 42 seconds.
>
Worst drink. God that damned BEVO gets everywhere. LOL.
Most prolongued fart. Did someone forget to include bush and blairs
speeches??
Mercury.
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