1998 Urban Legend
Accident Report
This one needs an introduction, so you won't be lost at the beginning.
This man was in an accident at work, so he filled out an insurance
claim. The insurance company contacted him and asked for more
information. This was his response:
"I am writing in response to your request for additional information,
for block number 3 of the accident reporting form. I put 'poor
planning' as the cause of my accident. You said in your letter that I
should explain more fully and I trust the following detail will be
sufficient. I am an amateur radio operator and on the day of the
accident, I was working alone on the top section of my new 80-foot
tower. When I had completed my work, I discovered that I had, over the
course of several trips up the tower, brought up about 300 pounds of
tools and spare hardware. Rather than carry the now unneeded tools and
material down by hand, I decided to lower the items down in a small
barrel by using the pulley attached to the gin pole at the top of the
tower. Securing the rope at ground level, I went to the top of the
tower and loaded the tools and material into the barrel. Then I went
back to the ground and untied the rope, holding it tightly to ensure a
slow decent of the 300 pounds of tools."
"You will note in block number 11 of the accident reporting form that
I weigh only 155 pounds. Due to my surprise of being jerked off the
ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of
the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rather rapid rate of speed
up the side of the tower. In the vicinity of the 40-foot level, I met
the barrel coming down. This explains my fractured skull and broken
collarbone. Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not
stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep
into the pulley. Fortunately, by this time, I had regained my presence
of mind and was able to hold onto the rope in spite of my pain. At
approximately the same time, however, the barrel of tools hit the
ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel."
"Devoid of the weight of the tools, the barrel now weighed
approximately 20 pounds. I refer you again to my weight in block
number 11. As you might imagine, I began a rapid descent down the side
of the tower. In the vicinity of the 40-foot level, I met the barrel
coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, and the
lacerations of my legs and lower body. The encounter with the barrel
slowed me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell onto the pile of
tools and, fortunately, only three vertebrae were cracked. I am sorry
to report, however, that as I lay there on the tools, in pain, unable
to stand and watching the empty barrel 80 feet above me, I again lost
my presence of mind. I let go of the rope..."
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