Lil Stinker <anywhere@uwant2.net> wrote in
news:Xns978DCD3C6CF791op34j6jrgjuarp34ju6@140.99.99.130:
>
> It's about time someone updated those commandments, so here are some
> suggestions...
>
> Thou shall not stick anything larger than thine own elbow in thine ear
>
> Thou shall not eat anything larger than thine own head
>
>
> Thou shall watch porn movies
>
> Thou shall have an ego smaller than that of Prince Charles
>
> Thou shall not impersonate God, unless thou is stoned off thy ass
>
> Thou shall not piss in the holy water
>
> Thou shall not piss in the pool water
>
> Thou shall not sign a contract of more than seven thousand pages
>
> Thou shall not write a contract larger than seven thousand pages
>
> Thou shall not fantasize about Bob the Builder
>
> Thou shall not lick thine own asshole
>
> Thou shall not be Communist
>
> Thou shall not masturbate into the Fountain of Youth
>
> Thou shall not start the fourth Reich
>
> Thou shall not set homework
>
> Thou shall have a surname shorter than forty-six letters
>
> Thou shall always believe in what thy say, unless thou is wrong
>
> Thou shall not make love to a lamp-post
>
> Thou shall not eat a Nintendo
>
>
> Thou shall not be flexible enough to go through thine own legs twice,
> backwards, without breaking thy spine
>
> Thou shall listen to an entire sentence before making some disgusting
> comment about it
>
> Thou shall not desecrate thine own genitalia
>
> Thou shall not be unco
>
> Thou shall not like any show on Comedy Central, other than South Park
> and Dr. Katz
>
> Thou shall commit adultery
>
> Thou shall hate all songs by Hanson (except maybe This Time Around)
>
> Thou shall not create a song lasting longer than twenty-four minutes
>
> Thou shall not bore shitless
>
> Thou shall only install light switches smaller than the wall they are
> on
>
> Thou shall consume alcohol only on special occasions, but these rules
> are very flexible, as Nuntas is included on the list, the celebration
> of the passing from morning to afternoon. (i.e. you can just make them
> up)
>
> Thou shall not do the Hampsterdance
>
> Thou shall not spell hamster incorrectly, with a P
>
> Thou shall not enter a freestyle rapping competition
>
> Thou shall succumb to advertising
>
>
> Thou shall break out of prison, unless thou is not in jail, in which
> case thou shall commit a felony, then break out of prison [Please do
> not take this literally]
>
> Thou shall not be a Video Jockey (VJ)
>
> Thou shall not market Windows XP
>
> Thou shall not be part of a pop group
>
> Thou shall pirate all forms of media possible
>
> Thou shall not play Ookeymouth (This game consists of having someone
>
> Thou shall not use Mad magazine as a basis for real life
>
> Thou shall not make a pocket television that fits in a change pocket
>
>
>
> Thou shall not chuck a psycho
>
> Thow shall use good spelling
>
>
>
> Lil Stinker
>
Spoilsport.
Mercury.
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