Path: news.nzbot.com!not-for-mail
Subject: Re: Answering machine at the Mental Hospital...
Date: Tue, 28 Feb 2006 02:48:04 -0500
From: "::Y-Not::" <%+12$-Y-Not@here.com>
Newsgroups: alt.fan.rolex
Reply-To: ::Y Not::
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In article <Xns9777DB16EC7591op34j6jrgjuarp34ju6@140.99.99.130>, Lil
Stinker <anywhere@uwant2.net> wrote:
> Hospital Message
>
>
>
> Answering machine at the Mental Hospital...
>
> "Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline ...
>
> If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
>
> If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
>
> If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
>
> If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the
> line so we can trace your call.
>
> If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the
> mother ship.
>
> If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell
> you which number to press.
>
> If you are a manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press,
> no one will answer.
>
> If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.
>
> If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the pound key until a
> representative comes on the line.
>
> If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, telephone
> number, date of birth, Social Security number and your mother's maiden
> name.
>
> If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, s-l-o-w-l-y and c-a-r-e-f-u-
> l-l-y press 0 0 0.
>
> If you have bi-polar disorder, please leave a message after the beep, or
> before the beep, or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
>
> If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
>
> If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
>
> If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
>
> If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
>
> If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. All operators are too busy
> to talk to you.
>
>
>
>
> Lil Stinker
This is incorrect:
> If you are a manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press,
> no one will answer.
Should be "clinically depressed".
I think I mentioned this the last time this was posted.
Possible addition:
If you are passive/aggressive, you'd better not press 1!
Y Not :-)
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