Path: news.nzbot.com!spool1.sonic-news.com!news-out.sonic-news.com!iad.highwinds-media.com!feeder.news-service.com!news.alt.net!fictitious-path
Subject: Re: +*+*+*+*+*+*+ Fort STORY Time +*+*+*+*+*+*+ Assy Essay
Date: Wed, 18 Nov 2009 14:54:19 -0500
From: Mover <Mover@Watch-Me.com>
Newsgroups: alt.fan.prettyboy
Reply-To: Mover
Message-ID: <181120091454198617%Mover@Watch-Me.com>
References: <Grant-me-that-1711091@Grant.Grant>
Organization: Move He - Thee Ate Her
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1
Content-transfer-encoding: 8bit
User-Agent: Thoth/1.8.3 (Macintosh)
X-No-Archive: yes
Lines: 75
NNTP-Posting-Host: 8fba45cc.news.astraweb.com
X-Trace: DXC=UHZnd;O021XD:=ciL5QPHRL?0kYOcDh@Zc<NBDDX8YHQ=7W4bYR;IS^_]:6?IN>UkSPZdFP;UOMOQDoCD5]MDLF\
Xref: news.nzbot.com alt.fan.prettyboy:7603
In article <Grant-me-that-1711091@Grant.Grant>, +Grant
<+Grant@grant.grant> wrote:
> This isn't exactly a story, but I think its funny. It comes from two
> posts by a friend from 2006.
>
>
> +*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
>
> Women are Dumb Asses
>
> Did you know that women are dumb asses? I mean this literally.
> More accurately, they HAVE dumb asses.
> That's right. Their asses can't tell what they're sitting on. Or even
> if they're sitting on anything at all, unless it's cold.
>
> Have you ever seen them sit? They just back up and drop. They never
> check what's on the seat, because even if it's something really bad,
> their butts won't feel it. They must realize this, even if
> subconsciously.
> I've been checking this out for years. Commuting by public
> transportation can be awfully boring.
>
> Those of you who live with a woman probably know this already, but for
> those who don't, I'll tell you how we find what we keep losing. Check
> under the woman. They have a lot of stuff under there they don't know
> about, because their butts can only feel cold things like toilets. For
> anything you lose, check under the woman first. Chances are, it's
> there. I KNOW!
>
> See the dog sniffing at the Woman's crotch? Now you know where that
> extra slice of pizza went. Under the Woman!
> You hear your car alarm setting go on and off outside? You can put away
> the spare keys now, you know where the originals are. Under the Woman!
> Can't find the TV guide? It's under the woman! Pressed flat, too. You
> may have to wait until She stands up, so you can peal it off Her Butt.
> On a hot day, you can see the picture transfer on her behind. Best not
> to tell her that, though, but you should cover all her usual perches,
> or you could have the TV Guide cover reprinted everywhere.
> Notice the TV changing channels on it's own, but you can't find the
> remote? That's right, it's under the woman, and pointing across the
> room.
> Can't find the dog's chew toy? You'll know where it is, if when the
> woman shifts position, you hear a suspicious squeaking sound. The dog
> is sniffing at her crotch for a legitimate reason, this time.
> You can't find your wallet? Check under the woman. But don't bother to
> look for the money (your measly allowance). Women's butts suck wallets
> dry. You'll know what else is under there, if you see key impressions
> on it, and a TV Guide logo on the wallet.
> Check under the woman for everything you've lost, but be careful of
> mousetraps.
> And mice.
> When She shifts position, old furniture and doggie toys may not be the
> only cause of the squeaking.
>
> There is a direct correlation between the number of the things you
> can't find, and the size of the woman's behind. Big butts hide more.
> Then things tend to get stuffed into the cracks.
> In the CUSHIONS! What were you thinking?
>
> Want proof that women never check what they sit on?
> Simple:
> On a cold night, the colder the better, (evil grin), leave the toilet
> seat up. Her surprised scream will give you proof of all my
> contentions, and not to mention, will likely wake up the neighborhood.
>
> Yeah, you'll get your proof about her ass, but you won't get NEAR her
> ass for a week.
> So much for scientific experiments! Got a comfortable sofa?
>
> +*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
Good one!
Mover
|
|