> On Fri, 19 Dec 2008 16:41:00 -0800 (PST), LC <secto...@gmail.com>
> wrote:
>
>
>
> >Every two weeks I receive injections of a female hormone
> >(medroxyprogesterone) designed to counteract my testosterone, thus
> >depressing my libido- a process known as "chemical castration." I
> >also
> >attend weekly group psychotherapy sessions, in a cognitive
> >restructuring ("brainwash") program for sex offenders (mostly
> >incestuous fathers, step-fathers, and grandfathers).
et
> >a
> >ultra-liberal nudist family. The parents attended and hosted adults-
> >only orgies. The children went with them on nude camping trips and
> >visits to the nude beach. Although I was a self-described pedophile,
> >the parents allowed me to befriend their two children, a boy and a
> >girl, then around 7 and 8.
> >play,
> >usually nude. In addition, I fondled the girl's vulva and
> >occasionally
> >performed cunnilingus on her. I never had erections in their
> >presence,
> >nor did I ask them to perform any sexual acts on me.
> >realized her feelings for me amounted merely to friendship. In my
> >fantasy I was her lover; in practice, her playmate.
joy
> >the company of children, more than most adults do. Second, I am
> >unable
> >to maintain an erection with any partner (man, woman, girl, or boy)
> >which is a severe handicap in adult relationships; but no handicap
> >with children. Third, my ideal woman would be quite petite (like my
> >mother, who was only 5 ft. tall, and thin); so girls are attractive
> >by
> >being short, and by having slender bodies and smooth skin. Fourth, I
> >lack attributes expected of an adult male (no job, no car, no dancing
> >ability, etc.); which makes it difficult to relate to adult women,
> >especially as I age; but kids don't care if you're old and poor; they
> >merely seek attention. Fifth, I am emotionally child-like and
> >childish
> >myself.
")
> >to justify my behavior. I believed that sexual pleasure was
> >inherently
> >good, and that some (not all) types of erotic play were age-
> >appropriate for children, such as masturbation, fondling, and nudity.
> >If sex were basically good, then sexual learning would begin as soon
> >as the child showed interest.(Precocity in music is praised; but
> >sexual ignorance is considered virtue.) I believed that my needs
> >suited me to be an erotic mentor to an intelligent child.
> >consent of the parents, could become acceptable in advanced societies
> >such as Denmark or the Netherlands. And among avant-garde life-
> >stylers
> >here. But I failed to worry enough about the reaction of the straight
> >state.
>
On Fri, 19 Dec 2008 18:50:58 -0800, Brandon D Cartwright
<user@example.net> wrote:
>On Fri, 19 Dec 2008 16:41:00 -0800 (PST), LC <sectoor4@gmail.com>
>wrote:
>
>>Every two weeks I receive injections of a female hormone
>>(medroxyprogesterone) designed to counteract my testosterone, thus
>>depressing my libido- a process known as "chemical castration." I
>>also
>>attend weekly group psychotherapy sessions, in a cognitive
>>restructuring ("brainwash") program for sex offenders (mostly
>>incestuous fathers, step-fathers, and grandfathers).
>> My crime occurred in 1980 or earlier. Thru swinging, I had met
>>a
>>ultra-liberal nudist family. The parents attended and hosted adults-
>>only orgies. The children went with them on nude camping trips and
>>visits to the nude beach. Although I was a self-described pedophile,
>>the parents allowed me to befriend their two children, a boy and a
>>girl, then around 7 and 8.
>> Most of my interaction with the kids consisted of innocent
>>play,
>>usually nude. In addition, I fondled the girl's vulva and
>>occasionally
>>performed cunnilingus on her. I never had erections in their
>>presence,
>>nor did I ask them to perform any sexual acts on me.
>> I was romantically in love with my girl victim, although I
>>realized her feelings for me amounted merely to friendship. In my
>>fantasy I was her lover; in practice, her playmate.
>> My urge was driven by several factors: First, I genuinely enjoy
>>the company of children, more than most adults do. Second, I am
>>unable
>>to maintain an erection with any partner (man, woman, girl, or boy)
>>which is a severe handicap in adult relationships; but no handicap
>>with children. Third, my ideal woman would be quite petite (like my
>>mother, who was only 5 ft. tall, and thin); so girls are attractive
>>by
>>being short, and by having slender bodies and smooth skin. Fourth, I
>>lack attributes expected of an adult male (no job, no car, no dancing
>>ability, etc.); which makes it difficult to relate to adult women,
>>especially as I age; but kids don't care if you're old and poor; they
>>merely seek attention. Fifth, I am emotionally child-like and
>>childish
>>myself.
>> I developed an elaborate rationalization ("stinkin' thinkin' ")
>>to justify my behavior. I believed that sexual pleasure was
>>inherently
>>good, and that some (not all) types of erotic play were age-
>>appropriate for children, such as masturbation, fondling, and nudity.
>>If sex were basically good, then sexual learning would begin as soon
>>as the child showed interest.(Precocity in music is praised; but
>>sexual ignorance is considered virtue.) I believed that my needs
>>suited me to be an erotic mentor to an intelligent child.
>> I believed that such relationships, with the knowledge and
>>consent of the parents, could become acceptable in advanced societies
>>such as Denmark or the Netherlands. And among avant-garde life-
>>stylers
>>here. But I failed to worry enough about the reaction of the straight
>>state.
>
>Congratulations for having the courage to confront your sickness
>and recognize it for what it is and persevering with your treatment..
Brandon, you need to stop pretending you are some kind of expert in
the field when you no nothing of any true worth about pedophilia. It
is not a sickness, it is a natural preference, just the same as some
people prefer strawberry ice cream and others prefer vanilla, and it
falls along the natural continuum of human sexual preference -- if it
did not, it would not have always existed, but it has.
Pedophilia does not require treatment -- it requires understanding and
acceptance; understanding that you cannot change it, understanding
that you must live with it, understanding that you can really harm
some wonderful people if you let it control you. Acceptance that you
must be responsible for your own actions, acceptance that there is no
excuse for harming others for your own selfish desires, acceptance
that you and YOU ALONE can choose what you do.
I know sickness -- I live with it daily. My auto-immune disease -- I
can do nothing about but take my treatments and hope that they keep
the disease at bay. My pain -- I can do nothing about but take my
treatments and hope that they will be enough to keep me going. My
depression -- I can do nothing about but take my medicine and hope
that it will be enough to keep me out of the kind of despair that
would cause me to hurt myself or someone else. These things I can do
nothing about but accept the currently available treatments and hope
that they are enough until better treatments come along. And, yes,
some of those treatments do involve trying to manage my behaviors some
since behavior can trigger sickness or make it worse.
But my pedophilia -- there is no acceptable treatment for pedophilia
-- because it isn't an illness and doesn't require treatment. It
requires that I accept that this is the way it is, that I be
responsible for my own behaviors and that I control what I do, not let
desires control me. Chemical castration sounds like a nice little
trick -- until you look at how well -- or how poorly -- it works. In
the first place, it can only lessen sexual desire -- it cannot change
behavior. And that's assuming that it works on the person being given
the damn stuff! For many people, long-term depo-provera just doesn't
do enough to slow down libido. AND, as I said, pedophilia is a
feeling, child molesting is a behavior. You don't have to have sexual
desire to act out those behaviors. Just as you don't have to have an
erection to molest a child. In the long term, it doesn't work. For
many people, it doesn't work at all. Trust me on this -- I've never
taken depo-provera except for illness, but I was on steroids most of
the years between my 18th and 36th birthdays -- drugs that are
chemically very similar, and they did nothing to me except turn my
body into a mess of pain from decalcified bones and connective
tissues.
Long-term cognitive-behavioral therapy is one of the few things that
can be effective -- and do you know why? Because it teaches you to
accept what you cannot change and to manage your behavior accordingly.
Funny, but that's just what I've always said you had to do.
You've proven time and time again that your "knowledge" of pedophilia
is based on prejudiced belief in false stereotypes that media idiots
push -- and I've shown you how wrong you are so many times that you
now admit that you may have been mistaken in your preconceived notions
about pedophilia and pedophiles. Isn't it time to let go of all of
them and admit that I know what I'm talking about? Or will you bring
up all the straw men that you so frequently post here from web sites
that don't know a damn thing except how to whip up hatred and
ignorance?
What really bites my ass is why I still care enough to keep trying
with you! I ought to just wash my hands of the whole damn mess and say
fuck you and leave you to wallow in the ignorance that you refuse to
let go of!
If I had any brain cells left that weren't all too busy making sure I
don't let myself do the wrong thing, I'd give you up for a lost cause.
XXX is a lost cause. It astounds me that I can actually say that, but
it's the truth. As long as he wants to continue to lie to himself and
make excuses for doing things that he shouldn't do, then I can't help
him. But I'm also willing to bet that he's a lot less certain of
himself when it comes down to actually doing anything than he lets on.
He might want to blame society for the metaphoric gun in his hand, but
he knows damn well that it's his finger on the trigger.
-- 4s00th@hushmail.com
If you send email, I will reply to it here at asbl
(without showing your email addy)
unless you ask me not to.
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