On Thu, 20 Oct 2011 10:12:31 GMT, nesScitur@husShmail.com (Ronin)
wrote:
>X-No-Archive: yes
>
>On Wed, 19 Oct 2011 19:19:52 -0400, Doc NP-f31 wrote:
>
>> Hey Fortsters,
>
>> Maybe it's just because I'm built the way I am that makes things like
>> this occur to me, but I often wonder about WHY I am a boylover. What
>> made me this way? I think I have a pretty good grasp on why I ended up
>> a BL and it's because I was molested by my Uncle from the ages of
>> 8-14, whcih just happens to be the range of my AOA.
>
>Or, perhaps, it is because the reduction in childhood mortality resulting
>from adults paying close attention to juveniles of their species, at ages
>when their enthusiasm and curiosity vastly exceed experience and caution,
>drives the evolution of that species towards adults who are hard-wired to
>pay close attention to juveniles; and that the hard-wiring operates on a
>pleasure-of-their-company basis.
>
>Is it perhaps the adults who do *not* "find children attractive" that are
>"abnormal"?
Hey Ronin!
How very true. My suspicion is that the majority of people DO find
children attractive and it scares the hell out of the ones who realize
it.
>
>After about age 8, a child's grin shows adult upper front teeth, marking
>the end of little-kidhood. After about age 14, bone growth changes the
>from a child's shallow/light one into an adult's deep/heavy one, and the
>skull itself into one in which the eyes, which were about three-quarters
>of their adult size at birth, no longer seem *large*; and that marks the
>end of perceived kidhood, period: this child no longer requires constant
>attention, say all the indicia.
>
>And, as evolution apparently agrees, this is probably so.
>
>The term "molestation" is, shall we say, *unhelpful*: depending on its
>user, it might denote anything from mere physical contact to consensual
>sexual intercourse -- as well as its base sense of unwelcome intrusion,
>physical or otherwise.
I am considering those boylovers who, like me, were sexually abused as
kids. In my case, molestation is a kind way to put it. What it was,
was sadism in a very real sense. Knowing me as well as you do, you
will understand when I point out that my wn experiences have been a
prime motivation to come out as a BL and work toward the safety and
well being of boys.
>(And, in most children's lives, the most unwelcome intrusions are those
>of She Who Must Be Obeyed, a figure of enormous Power; one wonders how
>much of the -- admittedly rare -- (more-or-less) sexual activity forced
>on children by a stranger replays the stranger's childhood experiences,
>or is simply the stranger channelling SuperMum.)
>
>How does one describe what is happening to an 8-year-old boy who is --
>again -- sitting between the legs of a grownup, belt unbuckled, zipper
>unzipped, not resisting what the grownup's hands are -- again -- doing
>between *his* legs, not minding -- again -- what actually feels rather
>nice, but feeling -- again -- more than a little guilty about letting
>him do it and about at least kinda liking it, and on the edge of panic
>-- again -- that someone might suddenly come in? Especially his Mum?
>
>Can one argue that his non-resistance amounts to consent? And that he
>has not attempted to avoid the grownup after what is happening now has
>happened several times previously amounts to informed consent? If so,
>what, if anything, does that imply about the boy?
As you noted before, perhaps it is subjective and depends upon the
boy. I know MANY boys (some who are now men) who clearly understood
that what was happening to them was abuse. Many tried to stop it in
the limited ways a ten year old has. If Mum and Dad are asleep at the
wheel, the kid is essentially powerless agaisnt an agressive abuser. I
liked it the first time. Subsequent experiences were more than
unpleasant. My Mom, my Grandmother, aunts, Uncles, no one questioned
my bruises, no one comforted my tears, no one lifted a finger about my
complaints. Perhaps because I was too ashamed and unclear about what
was done to my butt, because I didn't have the words for it at age 8
or 9, I never mentioned that stuff to them. Maybe it was my fault for
not telling. What does that say about me?
>Is the boy being, in any objective sense, harmed? If so, how? And if
>not, why not?
>
>Is there anything *wrong*, here? If so, what? And by what standard?
>> I know other guys who were just born that way. Maybe there's a lot of
>> others who have given the subject some thought. I'd be interested in
>> reading about your opinions or suspicions.
>
>If "BL" follows "M", does that make "M" the cause of "BL"? Or is "BL"
>the natural state, which would have in any event resulted, and the "M"
>a (remembered fondly or otherwise) coincidence?
I think it is different for everyone, and that is what I'm trying to
determine. I know BLs who were never touched as boys and never touched
a boy,but they had the feelings and knew it was different from being
'gay'.
>
>> Do you remember the first boy you were physcially attracted to?
>The term "physical attraction" seems likewise problematic, as one would
>hardly expect that a *BL* and his *LB* sitting absolutely motionless on
>adjacent air pucks would be drawn together by that notional "force".
>It would probably be in any event more precise to speak of "attraction
>to the physical form" -- BoyBody -- in which a boy walks around, which
>is not the same thing as *attraction to the personality* of what walks
>around in that BoyBody -- dh, the Boy: the *hardware*, one might say,
>as contrasted with the *software*.
Maybe not. I was really thinking in terms of the first time you
(Boylover) looked at a boy and felt that special something, love if
you will, or attraction. My first time, it wasn't a sexual feeling, I
just wanted to be close to him. I'd already been sexual at that point
and sexual attraction was not on my mind, though it may have been in
my subconscious.
>What Boy was ever more loved in The Fort than MTB -- of whose BoyBody
>no more is known than it was "ginger-haired"?
He was cute, take my word for it. Skinny as hell and cute.
>> Did you gradually become aware that you were different? Did it hit you
>> all at once?
>
>> Please share if you have a mind to,
>
>Indeed; but it would be well to keep in mind that Big Bother [sic]
>is watching, and it might be advisable to give him no further cause
>to trace your IP address back to your home address ...
>
>> Doc
>> NP-f31
>
>
>Ronin
The point of my post was to create a series of posts to help others
work through their sexuality in the vernacular. There are people here
who come for the pictures. If I can get them thinking about the whys
and why nots, then it is a useful exercise. I am not asking anyone to
write about anything illegal, just opinions and memories, thoughts and
emotions. Your point is well taken and your post insightful as always.
Much love,
Doc
NP-f31
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