| Bass Jokes 2 |
EasyNews, UseNet made Ea .. |
| ::darkshadows:: (blood@thirsty.net) |
2008/06/15 01:49 |
Did you hear about the bassist who was so out of tune his section
noticed?
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How many string bass players does it take to change a light bulb?
None; the piano player can do that with his left hand.
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How do you make a double bass sound in tune?
Chop it up and make it into a xylophone.
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At a rehearsal, the conductor stops and shouts to the bass section:
"You are out of tune. Check it, please!"
The first bassist pulls all his strings, says, "Our tuning is correct:
all the strings are equally tight."
The first violist turns around and shouts, "You bloody idiot! It's not
the tension. The pegs have to be parallel!"
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Two bass players were engaged for a run of Carmen. After a couple of
weeks, they agreed each to take an afternoon off in turn to go and
watch the matinee performance from the front of house.
Joe duly took his break; back in the pit that evening, Moe asked how
it was.
"Great," says Joe. "You know that bit where the music goes `BOOM Boom
Boom Boom'--well there are some guys up top singing a terrific song
about a Toreador at the same time."
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There was a certain bartender who was quite famous for being able to
accurately guess people's IQs. One night a man walked in and talked to
him briefly and the bartender said, "Wow! You must have an IQ of about
140! You should meet this guy over here." So they talked for a while
about nuclear physics and existential philosophy and had a great time.
A second man walked in and soon the bartender has guessed about a 90
IQ for him. So he sat him down in front of the big-screen TV and he
watched football with the other guys and had a hell of a time.
Then a third man stumbled in and talked to the bartender for a while.
The bartender said to himself, "Jeez! I think this guy's IQ must be
about 29!" He took him over to a man sitting at a little table back in
the corner and said, "You might enjoy talking with this guy for a
while."
After the bartender left, the man at the table said, "So do you play
French bow or German bow?"
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