Episode of Everybody Hates Chris
(All Politicicians who want to reduce NASA's
budget hate Chris)
Copyright C 2008 by Eric Matteson. Permission is
granted to copy the plain text version of this script
and to publish it on the Internet.
Permission is also granted to improve space shuttle
design based on this script.
Non-profit uses including student films and speech
classes are also allowed.
Scene 1 Chris and Greg are in science class.
TEACHER
On television there was a show about shuttle
safety. The space shuttle Orbiter was always mounted
alongside of the external fuel tank and two solid
rocket boosters.
The Challenger was destroyed in 1986 by a fire that started
in a solid rocket booster.
The Orbiter was actually below the top of the
external fuel tank where most foam falls off of.
The only good thing about the Orbiter is it accepts
a crew of 7 Astronauts instead of only 3 and also
has room for Cargo and a robot arm.
Columbia was broken by a peice of foam that was
blown off of the external fuel tank.
Eventually, NASA decided to return to Apollo type
of technology in which a small Apollo capsule with room
for only three people and a lot less cargo will ride above
the rocketry instead of alongside it in 2010.
CHRIS
It is extremely unfair for Democrats in congress to
save money by reducing the number of astronauts that can
fly on each mission from 7 to only 3 and to also have
less cargo on the same rocket.
The traditional space shuttle Orbiter is a very good
and SAFE design. If saftey experts do not like keeping
the orbiter alongside of the fuel tank and boosters put
the SPACE SHUTTLE ORBITER above the external fuel tank
instead of putting a small Apollo capsule on top of the
external fuel tank.
TEACHER
Then the rockets on the orbiter will burn the external
fuel tank.
GREG
Like they might have done in the Apollo program.
ADD rockets to the BOTTOM of the external fuel tank
so the orbiter rockets will not have to be used until the
orbiter is seperated from everything else.
The added rocket engines will reduce cargo capacity by 20%
but we still get to launch all 7 astronauts and a 20 per
cent cargo weight reduction is better than the 98
per cent cargo weight reduction that would have been imposed
by the previously proposed reinstatement of Apollo only technology.
CHRIS
I thought that the three additional liquid fuel enjines at the
bottom of the external fuel tank would only reduce cargo weight
by three per cent.
GREG
The other 17 per cent reduction is to increase the circumference
of the external fuel tank to push the solid rocket boosters
farther apart to improve stability. Increased width is increased
areodynamic drag.
TEACHER
Who is supposed to PAY FOR THIS ??
CHRIS
Who currently pays for education ??
If NASA goes ahead and replaces the space shuttle with
the smaller Apollo only rocket in 2010 that DOWNSIZING OF
THE SPACE PROGRAM will downsize the Interest of students in hard
subjects like Math in science. People who became interested in
Algebra because of the spectacular space shuttles of 1985 ended
up using that algebra AT MICROSOFT to improve DOS and create
Microsoft Windows and eventually algebra led to the development
of the modern Linux operating system and modern
computers. The space program was a good investment because
its encouragement of students to learn algebra and calculus
led to Microsoft paying BILLIONS OF DOLLARS in federal income
taxes that otherwise would not have been paid.
Education depends upon the U.S. Space program being
FULLY FUNDED.
GREG
If there would not have been a space program in the United
States personal computers would never have been invented.
CHRIS
Imagine the new shuttle design in flight. At liftoff the
shuttle orbiter is above the external fuel tank instead of
alongside it. Three new liquid fuel rocket enjines at the
bottom of the external fuel tank burn liquid hydrogen
with liquid oxygen in addition to the solid rocket
boosters burning.
First, the solid rocket boosters seperate. The external fuel
tank with its new rocket enjines are behind the orbiter instead
of alongside it. After the external fuel tank is finished
it seperates. Small thrusters on the orbiter get it ahead of
the external fuel tank a safe distance before the orbiters main
enjines come on full blast and then the SPACE SHUTTLE ORBITER
with all seven astronauts and up to 75% of traditional cargo
capacity is finally adjusted into proper orbit with the
orbiters three main enjines.
GREG
Challenger and Columbia were not the only unfair accidents.
There were also five unfair accidents on the ground
in Los Angeles County California in which five pedestrians were
unfairly run over by life gaurd vehicles that were driving
OUTSIDE OF THE STREET.
Redesign the beach in California so that there is a two lane
asphalt roadway for lifeguard trucks to drive on that is
visible to pedestrians instead of continuing to drive
completely randomly all over the beach and running over
pedestrians on the sand,
It is extremely unfair to run over pedestrians outside of the
street because driving outside of the street on the beach or
lawn or park or sidewalk along direction of pedestrian
travel teaches the public that saftey is unimportant then
people who beleive that saftey is unimportant end up working
for NASA and its subcontractors.
CHRIS
We need to require that all communnity college employees
who drive drive only in the street and parking lot. Each street
driven in must be at least two lanes wide.
Only drive on a sidewalk at right angles to cross it. Never
continously drive on any sidewalk along its pedestrian directions.
Never drive on bare ground or any lawn or any park or any sand
or beach.
It is very unfair to run over pedestrians outside of the street
because it teaches NASA employees that saftey is unimportant.
CHRIS
Even the risky challenger and columbia space shuttles are
far safer than the safest communnity college or beach or park
in California in 2008.
GREG
How many more NASA space ships will have to be destroyed
by careless accidents before saftey becomes imporant
enough so that all drivers on the ground who are
public employees will learn that the street is the only
place to drive ??
CHRIS
learning about safety has to be done ON THE GROUND!!
All space shuttles are at risk of being GROUNDED until
all community college employees who drive
golf carts learn that
the street and parking lot are the only places for drivers
who want to remain employed to drive.
The saftey of even the poorest of pedestrians who are
outside of the street is at least as important as the
saftey of the richest Astronauts in outer space
because saftey has to be learned ON THe GROUND!!
GREG
What happens if NASA gets downsized in 2010 by the abolishment
of the space shuttle fleet??
CHRIS
education will ALSO BE DOWNSIZED. We need a fully funded
space program to encourage students to learn algebra
and calculus and computer programming and science.
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Written by Eric Matteson
[Link to previous episode of 7th heaven]
http://groups.google.com/group/alt.tv/msg/a22fdfb5d97f090a?hl=en
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