Episode of Everybody Hates Chris 11/25/2011
Luke Skywalker crashes into Black Hole.
Guest starring Mark Hammil as Luke Skywalker.
Copyright C 2011 by Eric Matteson. Permission is granted
to copy the plain text version of this script and to publish it
on the Internet. Non-profit uses including student films are
also allowed.
( Scene 1 Chris and Greg are in the Movie Theater. )
The movie is showing Luke Skywalker in a X-wing fighter. He gets a
call
on the Radio from Hans Solo. Hans solo is in his ship
at the launch pad on tattooine.
HANS
Luke, I need you to meet with me on the Millenium Falcoln As
soon as possible. On the planet Earth in a distant galaxy
there is a operating system called Windows that needs YOUR HELP
to save it.
LUKE
I am in a low speed X-Wing Fighter now. It will take several weeks
for me to make it to your spacecrafts launch bay.
HANS
There is a black hole near you. I have just e-mailed you the
navicomputer instructions to do a slingshot around the
black hole to speed your ship up. When you reach the
atmosphere of tattooine your re-entry speed will be much greater
than normal so your re-entry angle will be critical this time.
There is a news shuttle outside near you now that will film your
trip around the black hole.
LUKE
Starting automatic flight plan now.
( Then the X-wing fighter rocket enjines fire full blast.
The scene changes from the fighter to a distant view of it from
the news ship. The X-wing fighter speeds up and tears apart and
dissappears into the black hole. A serious mistake has occurred
and Luke Skywalker is crushed into the black hole. )
NEWS_COMMENTATOR
Luke Skywalker has become lost forever in a black hole.
Luke Skywalker will not be able to save Microsoft Windows.
( Scene 2. Chris and Greg leave the theater after the movie is over. )
CHRIS
Microsoft has made a terrible mistake by asking hardware
manufacturers
to tamper with firmware BIOS design so Windows 8 will become the only
bootable operating system on proposed future UEFI secure boot
computers.
The scriptwriter who would have done
Help Luke Skywalker Save Windows movie
is a supporter of competition and Luke Skywalker was
supposed to have helped Microsoft Windows COMPETE with other operating
systems in dual boot mode instead of excluding competitors from
booting. In order to PUNISH MICROSOFT the Luke Skywalker character
has been terminated and Microsoft Windows WILL NOT BE SAVED!!
GREG
I hope that some computer manufacturers will allow CMOS Setup
to DISABLE UEFI SECURE BOOTING so that Linux and earlier versions
of Windows and ReactOS can still be used as operating systems
on future computers.
CHRIS
It will become harder to shop for new computers and new motherboards.
In addition to asking store clerks for motherboards with 34-pin floppy
disk drive ribbon cable connectors that can be seen we also have to
ask for an invisible binary pattern inside the BIOS ROM that will
allow BIOS SETUP to disable UEFI SECURE BOOTING so that
operating systems other than Microsoft Windows 8 can still be used.
GREG
We should hope that Microsoft goes OUT OF BUSINESS so competitors
including ReactOS Windows and Linux can be used without obstructionism
from Microsoft.
Microsoft has always had a desire to unreasonably obstruct
competition.
( Scene 3. Chris at home with parents at dinner. Congressman Mike
drops in)
CHRIS
Mike, How much progress has been made on the taxOnGas bill ??
MIKE
Huh ? Oh, I forgot to introduce it into the subcomittee.
JULIUS
It is very unfair for the Government to require me to buy health
insurance for a healthy family and pay for it with a third job.
When am I supposed to SLEEP ??
MIKE
Hopefully, The Supreme Court will strike it down.
CHRIS
I do not want to rely on the Supreme Court to get rid of the
individual mandate to buy health insurance. 2/3 of Ohio voters
voted to advise repealing mandatory health insurance. a majority
of voters want the federal version of Romneycare repealed. It
is congresses job to repeal mandatory health insurance.
JULIUS
The Supreme Court should start by counting justices. If
at least 6 justices are opposed to mandatory health insurance
then go ahead and vote it unconstitutional in June of 2011,
Otherwise, vote to POSTPONE A DECISION until 2015 when a taxpayer
is already fined by the IRS for not having health insurance
with a regressive miniumum fine of $695.00 per year which
is a higher percentage of income for poor people than for rich
people. A gasoline tax is the same percentage for rich and poor
and is more fair to poor people who can drive less to pay for
the gas tax.
CHRIS
Mike, You must not forget again. We need that mandatory health
insurance law to be REPEALED BY CONGRESS now!
MIKE
What if there are not enough votes ??
JULIUS
Then block funding for the U.S. military if you have to to force
cooperation in getting the federal version of Romneycare REPEALED.
( Scene 4. Chris and greg at school near food truck. )
CAROUSO
There is a announcement on the website thingy that community
colleges will change the number of repeats for a Math class
from 7 to only three. Instead of FWWDWWC we need to get a C on
only the THIRD ATTEMPT on a very hard MATH CLASS!!!
GREG
Then just get FWC and get a tC on only the third attempt. Do all
the homework problems starting on the FIRST ATTEMPT at each math
class!
CHRIS
What if your first two attempts are FW and you get a Jury summons
to go to jury duty instead of finish your third math attempt so
that the result is FWW and NO MORE ATTEMPTS!!!!
GREG
Pretty please PASS an all volunteer jury system so that students
AND TEACHERS can be in school when they need to be
instead of being required to serve on juries.
Voluntary jurors can volunteer BETWEEN SEMESTERS!
CAROUSO
According to grading lists a supermajority of students repeatedly
fail lower division MATH CLASSES. What will happen when the lack
of repeats changes math student population to only 3/6 of its previous
value ( close to 3/7 ) ??
CHRIS
Only half as many classrooms AND MATH TEACHERS will be needed 3
semesters
after Spring 2012. The grace period is Fall 2012 Spring 2013 Fall 2013
FOR MATH TEACHERS who WILL BE LAID OFF in Janurary of 2014 half of all
mathematics teachers who teach math at community colleges WILL BE LAID
OFF!!
CAROUSO
When those math teachers get laid off in January of 2014
they will no longer have employer based HEALTH INSURANCE.
CHRIS
But they will be required to buy health insurance in 2014
even if they have no jobs.
Can we repeal both the healthcare reform law and the reduction
of the number of math class attempts to only three???
GREG
We can also do other things to increase the number of Math students at
community colleges. We can vote to make it a requirement that all
financial aid students who have not completed High School Algebra
have progress in math as a corequisite to continue to get student
financial aid. Math must be taken until Math 125 second year of
High School Algebra or higher math class is completed with
a grade of C or better to continue to get student finanial aid.
CAROUSO
There are Several students in the computer science lab who have
failed Math 105 remedial artihmetic or who have not even started
math assesment test yet.
CHRIS
There are two beginning computer science courses. CS902
beginning programming that relys on knowlege of first year
of High School Algebra ( Math 115 ) and CS901 very hard
class with a spreadsheet that requires knowlege beyond
second year high school algebra ( Math 125 ).
GREG
Students who lack knowlege of High School Algebra WILL NOT PASS
ANY computer science classes at any community college.
CAROUSO
Change the rules to REQUIRE Math 125 or higher math class as a pre
requisite for CS 901 and reccommend completing Math 115 or higher
math class before taking CS 902.
GREG
hopefully, these pre-requisite enforcements will REDUCE the number
of MATH TEACHERS who will be LAID OFF by the unfair rule that
reduces the number of MATH STUDENTS by changing the number of
repeats of a math class from six to only THREE.
CAROUSO
Math is very hard and some students need more than three repeats
to get their math class grade up to a grade of C.
This change from 7 repeats down to only 3 is very unfair to
students.
CHRIS
Is there anybody out there who thinks it is unfair???
( End of episode Written by ericmatteson2003november@hotmail.com )
[link to programming progress report]
[programming progress report November 23,2011 on edmack.856]
http://groups.google.com/group/comp.emulators.ms-windows.wine/msg/b3b15ad800e01f34
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