I was just wondering about something. How often did the Brady children
have to stay home from school as a result of sore rectums?
Furthermore, did Carol or Mike keep statistics as to the reasons why
the rectums were sore? The reasons could be almost endless, and
related to BM (bowel movement) and rectal problems like 1) diarrhea as
a direct result of Alice's food, 2) too many BM's (bowel movements)
causing irritation to the lining of the rectum because of the quantity
or quality of the food consumed, 3) intestinal cramping as a direct
result of Alice's food, 4) too firm of BM (bowel movement) when Alice
would use too much fiber in the food, or 5) molesting the rectum with
fingers, sticks or other objects - such as Mike sticking his you know
what into the boys's rectums.
I think it is VERY safe to assume there was probably always at least
one child at home nursing a sore rectum back to health. Does anyone
have an idea how long rectal soreness would have lasted? How many
Brady school days were lost to these problems?
I wonder if a absence note written by Carol for Greg would have gone
something like this...
Please excuse Greg's absence from school yesterday. He was at home
suffering from a sore rectum - a condition we Brady's often
experience. Greg's rectum was very sore because 1) Greg had consumed
a very large portion of Alice's fiber-filled meatloaf, causing his
BM's (bowel movements) to become extremely firm. These firm BM's
(bowel movements) very much hurt Greg's rectum as he extruded his
large and firm BM's (bowel movements).
My husband Mike had also been playing a riveted game of "fudge
factory," and had been helping Greg "pack the fudge." This also
contributed to Greg having a sore rectum.
Thanks, and I appreciate your understanding.
Sincerely,
Carol Brady
What do you think?
We may need to ask the BM (bowel movement) lady on this one. She is
lost somewhere in the hurricane ravaged country helping people reunite
with their BM's (bowel movements). May hear from her this week.
Love you all much!
Saggie
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