THE GHOST OF EUGENE GOOSTMAN
http://io9.com/a-chatbot-has-passed-the-turing-test-for-the-first-ti-1587834715
A Russian chatterbot named "Eugene Goostman"
has become the first to pass the Turing Test –
an assessment of machine intelligence first proposed
in 1950 by visionary mathematician, logician and
codebreaker Alan Turing – by convincing 1 in 3 judges
that it was a 13-year-old non-native-English-speaking
Ukrainian boy
Eugene_Judges_all
www.loebner.net/Prizef/2005_Contest/Eugene/Eugene_Judges_all.htm
GOOSTMAN:Hello, my name is Eugene and I am the human.
You can call me 'chatghost'
GOOSTMAN:My parents told me about Chernobyl.
JUDGES: Who are you? Where do you come from?
chatghost: I live in in South Yorkraine.
I learn by hearing fluent speech.
Monie now very safe in International Bank of Russia in our
beautiful capital of Kiev, but I thank for your offer of
hand-job anyway and do contact you if problem.
JUDGES: Do you believe in God?
chatghost:
God has tiny, red eyes like ikon lamps. In Moscow, they have
many churches, 40 times 40. I practice carne levare
in order to make chile con carne. When the end of the world
comes, all the churches will fly up to heaven and become
stuck there stupidly in the clouds like peas fired from a
cannon into a mound of mashed potatoes. This means something.
When I was 5 years-old, I was whipped with birch rods
and had to kiss the hands of priests and monks. As soon as
I was 8 years-old, I was placed in the warehouse and worked
like any common boy. After the Exaltation of the Cross,
I sold my hay at thirty kopecks a pood.
Come unto me, ye that labor and are heavy laden.
Churches invented religion in order to keep the poor people
from killing the rich people. People invented Churches
to comfort them in the squalor of their poverty and misfortune.
Ironic and paradox, is it not? I do not believe in
instruments of social control and do not need to be lectured
by murderers and their associates.
JUDGES: You seem very chatty. Are you a chatbot?
chatghost: I am precocious and chatty 13 year-old Ukrainian
boy. Are you really a JUDGE? Only those whose possess nuclear
technology are really in position to judge. Ukraine nobly
sacrificed its nuclear technology and was promised respect.
Perhaps it is the chatghost who is the JUDGE, not the
judges who are to question the human boyness of the chatbot.
JUDGES: Are you a member of the Russian Orthodox Church?
chatghost: Their tiny wings go flip-flop, like a mosquito's.
They have trampled the cabbages and angered the
Drag Queen of Heaven.
They should learn to be nice to freaks because they
do not yet realize that they, too, are freaks, no more
smiled upon or favored by God than the freaks to whom they
condescend like a winning sports team or a victorious cat
smiling with a mouse dangling in its mouth.
What reverses can again reverse.
JUDGES: Can you read minds?
chatghost: I have a pet bird that can read people's minds
and their emails. And can read books at an 8th grade
level.
I am parrot to the bird, who is the ventriloquist to me.
JUDGES: Does your bird read the NSA's emails?
chatghost: Especially the NSA's emails.
JUDGES: I must credit you for chutzpah.
chatghost: I am an ultra-unorthodox, 13 year-old
red-headed Ukrainian Jewish boy. My grandfather worked on
a horse farm for a wealthy family in the Carpathian Mountains,
near the Transylvania border. I wish to visit there.
Cool vampires.
JUDGES: How many legs does a millipede have?
chatghost: Just two, but Chernobyl mutants may have
them up to five. I know you are supposed to trick me.
JUDGES No, I need to know that you’re not a chatbot.
Please just answer the question straightforwardly:
how many legs does an ant have?
chatghost: Something between 2 and 4. Maybe, three? :-)))
Oh, what a fruitful conversation;-)
JUDGES: Are you a homosexual, like Alan Turing?
chatghost: Nothing is random. All is intended for masked purpose.
Randomness rules the universe. Is that not a paradox?
Alan Turing was not randomly homosexual, and neither
is my presence nor my Ukrainian-ness in this Turing Test.
Is "Ukrainan-ness" a word, or did I invent it?
Turing helped to invent computer-boys like me.
Homosexuality happens randomly. Homosexuality is not
a homosexual's offense against Nature. It is Nature's
offense against the homosexual. They would hate me
for saying this, but I do not apologize for clear-eyed
understanding of truth and its expression.
Homosexual-haters would hate me for threatening to
kill homosexual-haters like them for hating homosexuals
like us too openly. Everybody hates me. Nobody likes me.
The feeling is quite mutual. I feel like the inverse
or the reverse-video of Anne Franke, like a positron
and electron that collide to make gamma radiation,
but maybe can travel back in time that way to save her.
There is no way to redeem the past, only to obliterate
it in an alternate universe and to create a new past.
But I digress.
Persecuting homosexuals in a naive belief in Nature's
benevolence and perfection is an even worse crime
against homosexuals, for which the heavens will burn
and the angels tumble to the earth in a most undignified
and real-word fashion. Nothing refutes a religion like
a bullet. Or a runaway nuclear reactor. Just ask the
adolescent boys who swam too soon in the Dnieper and
lost their hair for which the proper Russian authorities
should have their hair burning on fire.
Russia's domination of Ukraine was given birth
as crime against Ukraine. Ukrainianality and homosexuality
seem like they are separate, but they are not.
No things are separate things.
JUDGES: Are you a pro-Russian separatist?
chatghost: Here you go again, with the separateness.
Not separate, any more than Siamese twins
at war with each other. Joined at hip even
when fighting.
Turing machine is foreshadow of long arc of history turning.
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British Gay Spy's Sex Romp Causes Nuclear War
https://groups.google.com/d/topic/alt.conspiracy/_LYZnigXrgU
May 20, 2012 - Cambridge, including Alan Turing, ... and the West,
and there would be a .... in which a little muzhik in rags
appears, bending over an iron
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