MILLIONS DISAPPOINTED BY MAYAN PROPHECY
Mexico City, Mexico - Millions of apocalypse aficionados
around the world expressed their sense of disappointment
that yet another end-of-the-world date came and went
without anything much happening.
Professor Peter Poppledorf of Princeton University,
a noted apocalypse authority, cautioned that the Mayans
never predicted any such thing, so could not be held
to blame, unlike the Holy Bible. “This was really just
a Hollywood pop-apocalypse, falsely attributed to the
Mayans” explained the professor.
Other apocalypse experts maintained that the Mayans
did much better than Christian prophecy, which according
to some experts is actually some 2000 years overdue.
A Harvard professor of papyrus prophecy explained,
“Jesus had told his followers that He would be back within
his own followers lifetime. What the blazes happened?
When Christ was a no-show, Christians just fudged
their prophecy up to the first millennium. After the
first millenium was a bust, they upped it to the
second millennium. This whole ‘millennium’ business
has actually been going on for thousands of years.”
Mrs. Mildred Meyers of Mount Olive Township, New Jersey,
summed up what thousands felt, when she opined that
“Nothing much ever happens here in Mount Olive.
At least the End of the World would have given us
something to talk about. Up until the End, at least, that is.”
Harry Stephco of Stephco Carpet Cleaning, Inc.,
and senior pastor of “Destiny Molders Church” of
Marysville, Indiana offered some philosophical comfort
when observing that “The Mayans were at least half-right.
Obviously, things happened in 2012 to make us wonder
what the world is coming to. Plus, they seemed
to nail Hurricane Sandy right on the head, from far
across the Sands of Time. The Bible sayeth that
‘No man shall know the exact time, but every man
shall know the season.’ It has been the season
ever since the end of WWII. And I don’t mean the
‘season to jolly’, but please allow me the opportunity
to extend a hearty ‘Merry Christmas’ anyway ,
and a Happy New Year, and a Happy Beginning of a
better baktun 144000-day ‘long cycle’.
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