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From: "Tom Keske" <ptkeske@comcast.net>
Newsgroups: alt.surrealism
Subject: Panetta Cheers Troop with CIA Disinformation
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Date: Sun, 24 Jul 2011 00:23:26 -0400
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Panetta Cheers Troops With CIA Disinformation
BAGHDAD, IRAQ- Former CIA Director Leon Panetta, in his new role
as Defense Secretary, utilized the skills which he had acquired
while at the Agency in order to rally troops and boost morale
through careful dissemination of CIA propaganda.
Panetta demonstrated the effectiveness of the cross-fertilization
between the CIA and United States military, by spreading manure
deeper than Missouri cow pasture. Displaying an instinct as keen
for military maneuvers as for manure, Panetta followed with several
off-color jokes, bombing harder than a Boeing B-17 Flying Fortress.
"You are here because the United States was attacked
on Sept 11", proclaimed Panetta to the wildly cheering troops
at Camp Victory.
After being informed that this view was discredited, Panetta
quipped, "I'm Italian, what the frick can I tell you?"
Panetta retorted that the skeptics were obviously lacking
in a sense of history. "The only difference between a truth
and an untruth", he explained, "is the degree of determination
with which you keep repeating it."
"In order to be effective, a soldier needs a clear sense
of purpose", he continued. "I'm not saying that he needs
a clear purpose. Just a clear sense of purpose".
One brave, young soldier raised his hand and asked
"What the frig does 'frick' mean? Is it the same as 'fuck'?
I keep hearing it being used all the time, but have never
actually heard it defined".
Panetta again displayed his vast command of history,
explaining that Henry Clay Frick was an American industrialist
who amassed a fortune in the steel industry (1849-1919).
"Now, we continue with that kind of American can-do
in the oil industry, since the U.S. steel industry is
all but kaput. That is the kind of can-do that makes the
Iraq war such a noble cause", he intoned.
As for "frig", Panetta described how Frigga was a Norse
Goddess of Beauty, Love and Marriage, "all pillars of
civilization, that the troops are here to defend".
"Odin, his wife Freya (or Frigg), and the other major Norse
divinities - Thor and Tyr -lived in Asgard, near which is located
Valhalla. Valhalla was a warrior's paradise ; its beatitude was
not that of peace, but of war. There the dead warriors dwelt
with Odin, as shall you young warriors of Iraq", explained Panetta.
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Report - VALKYRIES OVER IRAQ - runners.ritsumei.ac.jp
The trouble with war movies. Weschler, Laurence. Title, Harper's.
ISSN, 0017789X. Volume, vol.--- no.--- ...
runners.ritsumei.ac.jp/cgi-bin/swets/hold-query-e?mode=1...
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