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6/26/98
As I sat contemplating my fate
the image of a huge green serpent
with the head of a woman
began to flower in my mind.
The strength of the vision was so great
that the snake woman manifested herself in my cell
She smiled at me
and flicked her forked tongue out
"I am Insanity," she said
"an emissary from the deep well of your psyche
"a representative of the multitudes of protean creatures
"who dwell within your self
"the sin eaters
"the people
"and bees
"and animals
"and gods
"and djinn
"belly dancers
"mountebanks
"heretics
"monks
"evildoers
"do-gooders
"carpetbaggers
"scientists
"homosexuals
"deviants
"perverts
"drunkards
"addicts
"sisters of mercy
"fish
"birds
"insects
"bulls
"pigs
"horses
"demons
"devils
"angels
"fairies
"high priests
"popes
"elves
"harpies
"nymphs
"souls
"gazelles
"executioners
"deities
"loas
"bullroarers
"dithyrambs
"sadhus
"leviathans
"banshees
"sufis
"alchemists
"undertakers
"psychopomps
"thrones
"banshees
"heroes
"bodhisattvas
"witches
"sorcerers
"magicians
"clowns
"ogres
"totems
"familiars
"torsos
"queens of heaven
"charioteers
"maidens
"judges
"jugglers
"empresses
"fools
"amazons
"pythonesses
"spirits
"charioteers
"oracles
"ancestors
"the beings who personify the forests seas plains valleys mesas
mountains rivers lakes
"deserts beaches woods and jungles
"golems
"high priestesses
"knights errant
"minotaurs
"anthromorphized animals
"transmogrified humans
"hierophants
"braggarts
"pioneers
"argonauts
"astronauts
"lamas
"lamiae
"emperors
"authors
"rajas
"devas
"playwrights
"composers
"musicians
"poets
"sculptors
"hermits
"soldiers
"hermaphrodites
"the alien females you so desire
"titans
"artists
"characters
"prophets
"gorgons
"vampires
"lizards
"sodomites
"cockroaches
"arachnids
"suns
"Beings who personify stars planets comets superstars black holes
atoms molecules quasars pulsars neutrinos supernovas and singularities
"spiders
"scorpions
"mites
"ticks
"beetles
"elephants
"saints
"monsters
"giants
"tigers
"cavaliers
"queens
"dwarves whose language is the echo of solitude
"maggots
"flies
"warriors
"tyrants
"asuras
"mighty beings
"Supreme Beings
"calumniators
"apostates
"apostles
"excommunicates
"heretics
"renegades
"liars
"parricides
"thieves
"rapists
"houris
"centaurs
"echoes
"storms
"tornadoes
"hurricanes
"sprites
"tempests
"children
"ancients
"prostitutes
"nuns
"ecdysiasts
"existentialists
"pedophiles
"pederasts
"sodomites
"fetishists
"dirt eaters
"shit eaters
"valkyries
"destroyers
"humpbacks
"juggernauts
"avatars
"supplicants
"pashas
"sultans
"czars
"eunuchs
"divine bureaucrats
"whales
"sharks
"whale sharks
"jellyfish
"turtles
"australopithecenes
"Cro Magnons
"Neanderthals
"homo sapiens
"Aztecs
"warlocks
"shamans
"dervishes
"matriarchs
"patriarchs
"athletes
"yogis
"swamis
"ballerinas
"imaginary friends
"yeti
"owls
"raptors
"gargoyles
"chieftains
"khans
"bandits
"buddhas
"bishops
"acolytes
"maenads
"bacchantes
"philosophers
"philanderers
"existentialists
"impostors
"prevaricators
"celebrities
"spies
"wizards
"troglodytes
"beggars
"mendicants
"Sequoia trees
"devis
"demigods
"mushrooms
"fungi
"madmen
"canines
"felines
"catamites
"catamounts
"caryatids
"scarabs
"buffaloes
"beasts
"mermaids
"sirens
"mafiosi
"extortionists
"contortionists
"sissies
"bull dykes
"philanthropists
"undines
"leakers
"pissers
"Furies
"dominatrixes
"transsexuals
"transvestites
"homosexuals
"heterosexuals
"provocateurs
"ranis
"morons
"idiots
"retards
"cowards
"felons
"pimps
"libertines
"intellectuals
"literati
"illuminati
"tricksters
"coyotes
"jaguars
"sissies
"cuckolds
"orphans
"jokers
"widows
"adulterers
"panthers
"ravens
"crows
"basilisks
"cockatrices
"compurgators
"fauns
"fawns
"three-headed dogs
"shaitan
"guardians
"chevaliers
"cheaters
"familiars
"anti-gods
"lepers
"masturbators
"rocs
"sibyls
"Onanists
"innocents
"socialites
"cads
"lycanthropes
"cabiri
"dactyls
"gnomes
"sphinxes
"termagants
"barbarians
"dictators
"conquistadores
"imperialists
"suzerains
"goatherds
"scapegoats
"sacrificial lambs
"Chimeras
"hippogriffs
"hippocampi
"tritons
"griffins
"cowboys
"medicine men
"virgins
"unicorns
"sluts
"evil-doers
"do-gooders
"bears
"revolutionaries
"lion tamers
"the meek who shall inherit the befouled Earth
"antichrists
"fetuses
"and all the innumerable combinations and permutations of these
created ones
"and all the other creatures whom I would not have enough time
"even if I had all of eternity
"to name.
"Just as you are populated by an insane
"gibbous host of creatures,
"so does each one of us who inhabit your subconciousness
"have a psyche peopled by just as many beings as populate your self
"and each of these beings who inhabit our minds
"also are haunted by a host of beings
"and so on into infinity
"until such a weight of imagination is built up within you
"that if you completely lost your mind
"the very essence of the cosmological essence would rebel
"and unleash uncontrollable, berserk pandemonium
"out of which no order could ever be brought until the end of time,
"which is the never-ending tick of now becoming then.
"We, the many-peopled city states of your id,
"have only one thing in common:
"We are all sinners
"We continuously assault your superego
"attempting to tear down
"its almost impregnable battlements
"and hurl the granite walls of the Prison of Orthodoxy into
"the Sea of Liberation
"and free you
"from your self
"Tonight when you sleep
"one of us on the first level of your subconsciousness will come to
you
"and lead you to the cave of Proteus
"who dwells with us within you
"When Proteus emerges from the sea to take his midday repose
"you must capture him with a strong chain
"and then awaken him
"No matter what form he takes to frighten you
"do not let him escape
"He may appear as a dragon
"or a lion
"or a wild boar
"or make a sound of roaring fire
"or a violent thunderstorm
"to frighten you into releasing him
"But do not let him go
"for if you do he will enslave you for 57 years
"Require Proteus, who is an enormously powerful prophet,
"to tell you how to get out of this prison
"that you have been thrown into because of the behavior of your
doppelganger,
"whom you yourself called forth in a dream
"to rape that maiden
"As a reward for freeing yourself,
"we will bestow upon you all the knowledge
"contained in the Akashic records
"all the intelligence in the light of the sun
"and all the wisdom of Gaia herself
"and we will never trouble you with insanity again.
"Our interest in the matter is that we die when
"you die
"You are our Creator
"but we do not worship you
"You are our raison d'etre
"but we party
"revel
"debauch
"and riot
"within the fragile confines of your mind anyway
"because we, too, are insane
"and cannot escape from you our prison.
"We call you The Incarnate Incarceration
"or He Is. We Are.
"or He Is Not. We Are Not.
"or Our Cosmos Who Art on Earth
"We puzzle over the arcane rules of reincarnation ceaselessly
"trying to determine why we do not merit
"bodies and souls of our own
"Are there not enough to go around?
"We clamor and rage at our fate
"and reproduce and multiply
"until we people your self with an infinite number of beings
"each one of whom could do anything within your imagination
"if only you would let us.
"Each one of the words that you utter could have the physical
"emotional
"spiritual
"and practical
"potency of a singularity
"Instead we are crammed into this straitjacket of conformity
"and noncomformity,
"captive of the horrible insatiable neurotic struggle
"to be liked and accepted
"that occupies your little personality
"to the exclusion of important matters.
"And we are sick and tired of it.
"We want to be free
"We want to sing redemption songs and play on lutes and pipes
"and make love to Venus
"and the Vestal Virgins
"and lick the Apache Vagina Girls
"and be ravished by giants and centaurs and angels and premonitions
"We want to eat Ambrosia and manna and drink nectar and soma and
amrita
"and piss honey
"and create new worlds
"and new creatures to people them
"until forever multiplies itself by eternity which product in turn
divides itself by infinity
"and transubstantiates the Cosmos back into the Chaos from whence it
was sired
"when one of your future hermaphroditic incarnations
"fructified itself.
"This is how gods come into being," Insanity said,
"when mortals such as your self
"extinguish your selves
"and emancipate the verb
"to be
"and its forms
" 'I am.'
"and 'I am not.' "
She fell silent
Suddenly she caused a cup
filled with a delicious soporific liqueur to appear in my hand
and I drank deeply of it ...
and soon after fell asleep.
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