John Donnis wrote:
> >>
> >> I think you need the support of a good stiff umbrella up your
> >> sick perverted ass.
> >
> > That's a nasty violent streak you've got there - not to mention
> > somewhet perverted.
> >
>
> I know the remark was nasty. But at the core, I really do not
> have a nasty streak. I've been carrying around the memory of my
> abuse for many years -- and the anger that goes along with it --
> and carrying all that baggage around in ones head for such a
> long time, does strange things to a person.
Yes, I can understand that. Although I wasn't abused myself, I know
people who were.
> >> As a kid I was RAPED by one of your kind, and you really make
> >> me fucking sick, man! So sick I wanna puke!
> >
> > I'm sorry you were raped, and the person responsible should have been
> > punished.
> >
> Thank you for your kind words. (Really, I mean it.)
As did I. No-one should have to undergo such an experience, or be made
to do do anything they find unpleasant or distressing. Those who force
things on others, especially if the victims are not in a position to
defend themselves, are indeed the scum of the earth.
> > HOWEVER, please realise the difference betwen someone who loves and
> > someone who rapes. "One of your kind"? What kind is that?
>
> I know -- I'm stereotyping. Ordinarily I pride myself in my
> good insight and wisdom. But, you know, in light what happened
> to me, combined with all the stuff that we hear so often in
> the media, about gay men (including gay clergymen) abusing boys,
> gay teachers molesting students and so on... I'm afraid
> I was left with an emotional bias in this area.
Yes; the problem witn stereotypes is that they're usually wrong. And
the problem with the media is that they only publish what they think
will attract readers/viewers, with the effect that relatively rare
incedences appear commonplace.
I understand how such an emotional bias can be formed; sometimes it's
not easy to overcome it.
> At the same time, I do understand that I am being more
> emotional in the primal sense, than being rationally
> analytical. Perhaps I have to work on that. But it's
> not easy whan you are a victim. The natural tendency is
> to "paint with a broad brush". I guess that's human nature.
If you'll forgive the descent into jargon for a moment, I think a big
part of recovery is identifying the abuser - and that includes
identifying everyone else, however similar they might appear on the
surface, as not being the abuser.
> >> "Boy LOVERS"? "Girl LOVERS"? Shit, the only thing people
> >> like you "love", are yourselves.
> >
> > REally? So just what have you done to help a child lately? What
> > positive steps have you taken to ensure any children are better off?
>
> Unfortunately, Laurence, I cannot boast of having done
> anything in particular to help a child lately. I am not
> in the "teaching" or "helping" professions, and I am not
> a politician. But the fact that I haven't done anything
> lately to see that "children are better off", as you put
> it, doesn't mean that there aren't those who PRETEND to
> like them, and then abuse them.
Indeed. Fortunately I think such people are in the minority, compared
to those who actually do work to help them.
I wasn't trying to make you feel guilty for not actually doing
anything specific, just to provide a point of reference.
> Let me now apologize to anyone out there who genuinely
> loves children, and were insulted by my narrow statement
> that "child lovers" only love themselves. I know there
> are many folks who really do love kids -- on different
> levels, and in a myriad of ways -- and most of them
> probably would never do a child any harm. It was my own
> hurtful memories of having been taken advantage of, that
> was behind that remark.
Apology accepted.
> >> And you don't care whose
> >> lives you ruin to get your rocks off.
> >
> > To whom are you speaking? Try not to judge everybody by your own
> > experience. Bad as it was, not everyone is a rapist.
> >
> >> So keep on lying to
> >> yourself that you "love" kids!
> >
> > Do you?
>
> I'm not 100% sure what you are asking here.
> But I must say that your entire response to my
> post has made me pause and think about how my
> anger toward an abuser who took advantage of me
> all that many years ago, has turned me from a
> sensible intellegent man, into someone who
> generalises too much, and I will work on that.
Thank you. By recognising your thought processes, you are already
half-way to improvment.
> No. I cannot ever bring myself to forgive the
> individual involved in my situation, but I will
> make every effort to be more tolerant of entire
> groups. Because "groups" are really collections
> of INDIVIDUALS. I do know that.
No-one is forcing you to forgive your abuser.
Yes, any group is made of individuals, and despite a group appearing
homogenous, the differences between individual members can be
considerable.
> AND, "NIGHTWING" -- IF YOU READ THIS -- ONCE AGAIN
> I'M SORRY FOR THE OUTBURST OF RAW EMOTION.
>
> Thank you, Laurence.
You're welcome. Thank you for your response.
--
rgds
LAurence
...BBC News: "Lesbian forces have invaded Syria ..."
|
|