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From: wlg <gonefishin@thelake.com>
Newsgroups: alt.fan.rolex
Subject: Re: Murder at Woolworths
References: <rmnh15t3cclshr49760cdsgv04k4nsrjm1@4ax.com>
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Date: Sun, 24 May 2009 09:53:27 +0200
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In article <rmnh15t3cclshr49760cdsgv04k4nsrjm1@4ax.com>,
"::darkshadows::" <bat@cave.org> wrote:
> Murder at Woolworths
>
> Tired of constantly being broke & stuck in an unhappy marriage, a
> young husband decided to solve both problems by taking out a large
> insurance policy on his wife with himself as the beneficiary, and then
> arranging to have her killed.
>
> A 'friend of a friend' put him in touch with a nefarious dark-side
> underworld figure who went by the name of 'Artie.'
>
> Artie then explained to the husband that his going price for snuffing
> out a spouse was $5,000.
>
> The husband said he was willing to pay that amount, but that he
> wouldn't have any cash on hand until he could collect his wife's
> insurance money.
>
> Artie insisted on being paid at least something up front, so the man
> opened his wallet, displaying the single dollar bill that rested
> inside. Artie sighed, rolled his eyes, & reluctantly agreed to accept
> the dollar as down payment for the dirty deed.
>
> A few days later, Artie followed the man's wife to the local
> Woolworths store. There, he surprised her in the produce department &
> proceeded to strangle her with his gloved hands & as the poor
> unsuspecting woman drew her last breath & slumped to the floor........
>
> The manager of the produce department stumbled unexpectedly onto the
> murder scene. Unwilling to leave any living witnesses behind, ol'
> Artie had no choice but to strangle the produce manager as well.
>
> However, unknown to Artie, the entire proceedings were captured by the
> hidden security cameras & observed by the store's security guard, who
> immediately called the police. Artie was caught & arrested before he
> could even leave the store.
>
> Under intense questioning at the police station, Artie revealed the
> whole sordid plan, including his unusual financial arrangements with
> the hapless husband who was also quickly arrested.
>
> The next day in the newspaper, the headline declared ...
>
>
>
>
>
> (You're going to hate me for this ... )
>
>
>
>
>
> ' ARTIE CHOKES 2 for $1.00 AT WOOLWORTHS ! '
Yes
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