Clumsy Crooks
Would-Be Gangster Shoots Off Own Manhood
Published: May 23, 2009
A would-be gangster shot himself in the crotch when his gun went off
half cocked in his pocket.
Lukas Neuhardt, 27, had forgotten to put the safety catch on when he
stuffed the gun into his trouser pocket to impress pals in
Saarbruecken, Germany.
He told paramedics that a masked mugger had blasted him in the crotch
in a bungled robbery.
But police found a hole in his statement when they saw that the
gunshot had miraculously left his trousers intact.
"Instead there was a charred hole in his pocket so either it was the
shot of the century or he did it himself," said a police source.
Now - after surgeons stitched his manhood back together - he's facing
up to three years in jail for breaching Germany's tough new anti gun
laws.
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Man charged in penis 'puppet' incident
Published: May 21, 2009 at 2:53 PM
FEDERAL WAY, Wash., May 21 (UPI) -- Police in Washington state said a
suspect used his genitals as a puppet while standing over an air
conditioner intake at an apartment complex.
The police report of the incident said Timothy Wayne Martin, 44, of
Auburn, Wash., was arrested after residents of the Arcadia Apartment
Complex in Federal Way called police at about 10:30 a.m. May 13 and
reported a man standing over an air conditioner intake wearing only an
unbuttoned flannel shirt and "was apparently manipulating" his penis
with a string "like a puppet," Seattlepi.com reported Thursday.
Police said Martin was arrested at the scene and still had the string
attached to his penis. He was charged under the state's felony
indecent exposure statute due to having two prior convictions for
similar crimes.
Martin was also in possession of a small quantity of methamphetamine
at the time of his arrest. Police said he also had a pornographic
magazine.
The suspect was taken to the Norm Maleng Regional Justice Center in
lieu of $25,000 bail.
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Groom arrested at wedding reception in spat over saggy pants
Wednesday May 20, 2009, 8:14 PM
A groom was arrested at his own wedding for disturbing the peace after
his nephew violated the dress code with low-riding pants, Kenner
police said.
Arrested at the wedding reception Friday were groom John Lucas, 53, of
River Ridge, and his brother, Walter Lucas, 52, and nephew Samuel
Lucas, 19, both of St. Rose.
"We got arrested like 20 minutes after they said 'I do,'" said Samuel
Lucas, the 19-year-old with the allegedly low pants. "They spent
$1,500 on dance lessons and they didn't even get to dance."
The incident began Friday evening at the Crystal Plantation when the
police officer working a detail at the wedding asked the youngest
Lucas to pull up his pants to comply with the reception hall's dress
code, according to the police report.
The officer told Lucas: "We don't want to see your underwear,'" said
Leonard Dazet, owner of the Crystal Plantation. Dazet said each bride
and groom is required to sign a contract agreeing guests will abide by
the dress code.
"All the kid had to do was pull up his pants."
Samuel Lucas denied that his pants were low or that his underwear was
showing, though he acknowledged that his belt was loose. "I have
beaucoup witnesses. All my cousins and everything said my pants were
not sagging," he said.
But according to the police reports, the teen-ager's father told the
police officer to mind his own business and began arguing with him.
When the officer escorted him outside the hall, he resisted, the
report said.
The groom then got involved, the police report said. He grabbed the
officer's arms and tried to position his body between the officer and
his brother, the report said.
He tried to close the police car's trunk to prevent the officer from
retrieving his handcuffs, while yelling at the officer to free his
brother, the report said.
Meanwhile, Samuel Lucas stood outside the business on the patio and
cursed and yelled, the report said. The detail officer called for
backup.
But the teen-ager said he was actually asking the police to stop
hurting his father, who was hit with pepper spray by police.
All three were arrested for disturbing the peace. The groom, John
Lucas, was also arrested for obstruction of police. His brother,
Walter Lucas, was arrested for resisting an officer.
All there were escorted to Kenner jail but made bail a few hours
later, said Lt. Wayne McInnis, a police spokesman. Samuel Lucas said
they were freed about 3 a.m.
It was the second time in the 21 years Dazet has owned the Crystal
Plantation that a groom has been arrested, Dazet said. With alcohol
served at the reception and wedding-related stress, he said he figures
it's a pretty good record.
"You have in-laws and you have outlaws," he said.
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