| Basic Rules For Driving In New Jersey |
EasyNews, UseNet made Ea .. |
| ::darkshadows:: (bat@cave.org) |
2009/04/06 08:07 |
Basic Rules For Driving In New Jersey:
* A right lane construction closure is just a game to see how many
people can cut in line by passing you on the right as you sit in the
left lane waiting for the same jerks to squeeze their way back in
before hitting the construction barrels.
* Turn signals are just clues as to your next move in road battle
so never use them.
* Under no circumstances should you leave a safe distance between
you and the car in front of you no matter how fast you're going. If
you do, the space will be filled in by somebody else putting you in an
even more dangerous situation.
* The faster you drive through a red light, the smaller the chance
you have of getting hit.
* Never get in the way of a car that needs extensive body work.
* Braking is to be done as hard and late as possible to insure
that your antilock braking system kicks in to give you a nice relaxing
foot massage as the brake pedal pulsates.
* Construction signs tell you about road closures immediately
after you pass the exit but before the traffic begins to back up.
* The electronic traffic warning system signs are not there to
provide useful information; they're just to make the Turnpike look
progressive.
* Never pass on the left when you can pass on the right. It's a
good way to scare people entering the highway.
* Speed limits are arbitrary figures to make NJ look as if it
conforms with other state policies; these are given only as
suggestions and are readily enforceable.
* Just because you're in the left lane and have no room to speed
up or move over doesn't mean that the driver flashing his high beams
behind you doesn't think he can go faster in your spot.
* Please remember that there is no such thing as a shortcut during
rush-hour traffic on the Garden State Parkway.
* Always slow down and rubberneck when you see an accident or even
a person changing a tire. If you're lucky, you may see the unwitting
breakdown victim get mugged.
* Learn to swerve abruptly. NJ is the home of the high-speed
slalom driving thanks to NJDOT, who put potholes in key locations to
test drivers' reflexes and keep them on their toes.
* It is traditional in NJ to honk your horn at cars that don't
move the instant the light changes. The state is founded upon such
traditions.
* Seeking eye contact with another driver revokes your right of
way.
* All unmarked exits on the Parkway lead to downtown Newark.
JERSEY DRIVING - GOTTA LOVE THE CHALLENGE!
Author Unknown
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