What beats his chest and swings from Christmas cake to Christmas cake
Tarzipan !
Mum, Can I have a dog for Christmas ?
No you can have turkey like everyone else !
What did the eskimos sing when they got there Christmas dinner ?
"Whalemeat again, don't know where, don't know when " !
hat did the big cracker say to the little cracker ?
My pop is bigger than yours !
Who is never hungry at Christmas ?
The turkey - he's always stuffed !
What bird has wings but cannot fly ?
Roast turkey !
Whats the best thing to put into a Christmas cake ?
Your teeth !
We had grandma for Christmas dinner ?
Really, we had turkey !
Whats happens if you eat the Christmas decorations ?
You get tinsel-itus !
What do vampires put on their turkey at Christmas ?
Grave-y !
How come you never hear anything about the 10th reindeer "Olive" ?
Olive ?
Yeah, you know, "Olive the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him
names"
Why are women's breasts like a train set a kid gets at Christmas time
?
Because they were originally made for children but the father wants
to play with them.
Why doesn't Santa have any children ?
Because he only comes once a year, and when he does, it's down the
chimney.
Why is Christmas just like a day at the office ?
You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.
How are a Christmas tree and a priest alike ?
They both have ornamental balls.
What do the female reindeer do when Santa takes the male reindeer out
on Christmas Eve ?
They go into town, and blow a few bucks.
What's the difference between snowmen and snowladies ?
Snowball
Why did the snowman have a smile on his face ?
Because the snowblower was coming down the block.
Lil_S_Monk
|
|