Why Rednecks Make Good Soldiers
Dear Ma & Pa:
Am well. Hope you are. Tell brother Walt & brother Elmer the
Marine Corps beats working for old man Minch by a mile. Tell them to
join up quick before maybe all of the places are filled.
I was restless at first because you got to stay in bed till
nearly 6 a.m., but am getting so I like to sleep late. Tell Walt &
Elmer all you do before breakfast is smooth your cot and shine some
things. No hogs to slop, feed to pitch, mash to mix, wood to split,
fire to lay. Practically nothing. Men got to shave but it is not so
bad, they git warm water.
Breakfast is strong on trimmings like fruit juice, cereal,
eggs, bacon, etc..., but kind of weak on chops, potatoes, ham, steak,
fried eggplant, pie, and other regular food. But tell Walt & Elmer you
can always sit between two city boys that live on coffee. Their food
plus yours holds you till noon, when you get fed again. It's no wonder
these city boys can't walk much.
We go on "route" marches, which the Platoon Sergeant says are
long walks to harden us. If he thinks so, it is not my place to tell
him different. A "route march" is about as far as to our mailbox at
home. Then the city guys gets sore feet and we all ride back in
trucks. The country is nice, but awful flat.
The Sergeant is like a schoolteacher. He nags some. The Capt.
is like the school board. Majors & Colonels just ride around & frown.
They don't bother you none.
This next will kill Walt & Elmer with laughing. I keep getting
medals for shooting. I don't know why. The bulls-eye is near as big as
a chipmunk and don't move. And it ain't shooting at you, like the
Higgett boys at home. All you got to do is lie there all comfortable
and hit it. You don't even load your own cartridges. They come in
boxes.
Be sure to tell Walt & Elmer to hurry & join before other
fellers get into this setup & come stampeding in.
Your loving daughter, Gail
P.S. Speaking of shooting, enclosed is $200 towards a new barn roof &
ma's teeth. The city boys shoot craps, but not very good.
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