| More Quickies |
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| ::darkshadows:: (blood@thirsty.net) |
2008/11/24 11:10 |
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From: "::darkshadows::" <blood@thirsty.net>
Newsgroups: alt.fan.rolex
Subject: More Quickies
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Q: Why do Blondes wear earmuffs?
A: To avoid the draft.
Q: Why did the blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice for two
hours?
A: Because the can said "concentrate" on it.
Q: How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?
A: Tell her a joke on Wednesday.
Q: What is the blonde doing when she holds her hands tightly over her
ears?
A: Trying to hold on to a thought.
Q: Why don't blondes have elevator jobs?
A: They don't know the route.
Q: Why do blondes work seven days a week?
A: So you don't have to retrain them on Monday.
Q: How does a blonde commit suicide?
A: She gathers her clothes into a pile and jumps off.
Two blondes had driven across the country to see Disney World in
Florida.
As they approached it and got onto the final stretch of highway, they
saw a sign saying "Disney World Left!"
After thinking for a minute, the driver blonde said "Oh well!" and
started driving back home.
Q: How do you plant dope?
A: Bury a blonde.
Q: How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree?
A: Wave to her.
Q: How do you get a blondes eyes to twinkle?
A: Shine a torch in her ears.
Q: How do you make a blonde's eyes light up?
A: Shine a flashlight in their ear.
Q: How do you kill a blonde?
A: Put spikes in their shoulder pads.
Q: Have you heard what my blond neighbor wrote on the bottom of her
swimming pool?
A: No smoking.
Q: What does a blond do when someone says its chili outside?
A: She grabs a bowl!
A blonde goes to the local restaurant, buys a small drink for herself,
and sits down to drink it. She notices a peel-off prize sticker on the
side of her cup while she is drinking. After pulling off the tab, she
begins screaming, "I won a motor home! I won a motor home!"
The waitress runs over and argues, "That's impossible. The biggest
prize given away was a stereo system!"
The blonde replies, "No. I won a motor home!"
By this time, the manager makes his way over to the table, and he too
argues, "You couldn't possibly have won a motor home because we didn't
have that as one of our prizes."
Again the blonde says, "There is no mistake! I won a motor home!"
The blonde hands the prize ticket to the manager and he reads, "WIN A
BAGEL."
Q. Did you here about the blonde who shot an arrow into the air?
A. She missed.
Q. Did you here about the blonde that stayed up all night to see where
the sun went?
A. It finally dawned on her.
Q. What about the blond guy whose wife gave birth to twins?
A. He wanted to know who the other man was...
Q. What do you call a blond mother-in-law?
A. An air bag.
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