A man walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I bet you fifty
dollars that I can bite my right eye." The bartender says, "Yeah,
right! I've never seen anyone do that!" So the man takes out his glass
eye and bites it.
The angry bartender pays the man his fifty dollars and the man walks
away. He comes back half an hour later and says, "I bet you fifty
dollars I can bite my left eye." Now the bartender becomes really
skeptical. She says, "I just saw you walk in here -- you can't be
blind!" So he takes out his fake teeth and bites his left eye. The
bartender pays him his money and he walks away.
One night a man decides to visit his local bar. He takes a seat and
orders a beer. After polishing off his beer, he beckons the bartender
over and says, "Betcha $20 I can bite my eye." The bartender scoffs
and accepts. The man then calmly removes his false eye and bites it.
The bartender grudgingly forks over a twenty.
Later that night, after a few more beers, the man wanders back to the
bar and says rather drunkenly, "Hey barkeep, betcha another $20 I can
bite my other eye."
Wanting to win back his money and seriously doubtful that the man has
two false eyes, the bartender accepts. The man calmly removes his
false teeth and bites his other eye. Scowling, the bartender hands
over another twenty. The man leaves and wanders around the bar as he
drinks a few more beers.
He strolls back over to the bar, leaning on it, again and calls the
bartender, "Hey, barkeep," he burbles, "I'll give you a chance to win
yer money back plus. Betcha $100 if you put a shot glass on that end
of the bar, and I stood on this end, I could piss into it and not
spill a drop."
The bartender eagerly accepts, knowing the feat to be impossible. The
man wobbily climbs atop the bar, zips down his fly and promptly pisses
all over the bar. He zips up, sits down, slaps the $100 on the bar and
laughs uproarously.
"What's so funny?" says the barkeep. "You just lost everything you won
and more!"
Well," giggles the man, "I just bet those guys over there $200 that I
could piss all over your bar and you wouldn't get angry."
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