| Jokes 1017 |
EasyNews, UseNet made Ea .. |
| ::darkshadows:: (blood@thirsty.net) |
2008/10/17 03:32 |
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From: "::darkshadows::" <blood@thirsty.net>
Newsgroups: alt.fan.rolex
Subject: Jokes 1017
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Date: Fri, 17 Oct 2008 09:32:33 GMT
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Q: Why do rednecks' dogs have flat noses?
A: From chasing parked cars...
=====
Two old ladies are at the movies.
"Psst," says one old lady. "I think the guy next to me is beating
off."
"What makes you say that?"
"He's using my hand."
=====
In the year 3000, animals rule the Earth; they talk and drive
sportscars.
An owl enters a psychologist's office. The psychologist says to the
owl, "What is your problem?"
The owl replies, "I always sleep at night and am awake during the day.
I am an owl and we usually are awake during the night."
The psychologist tells the owl to come back in two days to solve his
problem, as he is very busy.
The next night, a cat comes in. He says, "I always sleep during the
day. Like my friends, I want to sleep during the night. Can you help?"
The psychologist advises the cat to come back in one day, as he is
very busy. The next day, the cat comes very, very, very early for his
appointment and ends up at the same time as the owl. The cat is told
to wait outside. He peeks in the owl's appointment and figures out his
problem... and his address!
During the next evening, when the owl usually comes in for his
appointment, the cat comes in. The psychologist asks the cat why he is
here instead of the owl.
The cat replies, "He is here!'' and poops on the floor, explaining, "I
was sent to deliver him."
=====
A guy is in a bar with a bunch of his friends. After a while of
shooting pool and drinking, he whispers something to his friends. A
few minutes later he walks over to the bartender and asks for a shot
of tequila. After he takes the shot he says to the bartender,'' I'd
like to make a bet with you.'' The bartender replies, ''Sure I'm in a
betting mood.'' So the man bets the bartender $1,000 that he can piss
in the shot glass placed all the way across the room and fill it up
and not spill a drop. The bartender says, ''I'll take that bet.''
So the man walks to the other side of the room and places the shot
glass down. He goes back to the bartender and starts pissing. He
doesn't even get a drop in. He pisses all over the place. In the
bartender's face, all over the barstools and everything. After he was
done pissing, the bartender laughed and said, ''You owe me $1,000.''
The man paid the money with a big smile on his face. The bartender
asked, ''How come you're so happy?'' The man replied, ''You see those
five guys over there by the pool table? I bet them $300 each that I
could piss all over your bar and you'd laugh about it.''
=====
What are a typical redneck's three last words?
"Hey, watch this! "
=====
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