| Jokes 1013 |
EasyNews, UseNet made Ea .. |
| ::darkshadows:: (blood@thirsty.net) |
2008/10/12 23:35 |
What do you call a blond with two brain cells?
Pregnant!
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Two fraternity brothers decide to go sailing one afternoon and become
lost. After twenty hours with nothing to eat or drink, one of them
spots a lamp floating by. He picks it up and a genie pops out. The
genie notices the poor condition of the brothers and grants them one
wish between the two of them.
After a lot of arguing over who gets the wish, one of them blurts out,
"I wish the ocean was made of beer."
Magically, the ocean turns to beer.
Infuriated, the other guy yells, "You idiot! Now we have to piss in
the boat!"
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Warning! Incredibly Harmful Virus!
If you receive an e-mail with a subject line of "Badtimes," delete it
immediately WITHOUT reading it. This is the most dangerous e-mail
virus yet.
It will re-write your hard drive. Not only that, but it will scramble
any disks that are even close to your computer.
It will recalibrate your refrigerator's coolness setting so all your
ice cream melts and milk curdles.
It will demagnetize the strips on all your credit cards, reprogram
your ATM access code, screw up the tracking on your VCR and use
subspace field harmonics to scratch any CDs you try to play.
It will give your ex-boy/girlfriend your new phone number.
It will mix antifreeze into your fish tank. It will drink all your
beer and leave its dirty socks on the coffee table when there's
company coming over.
It will hide your car keys when you are late for work and interfere
with your car radio so that you hear only static while stuck in
traffic. Badtimes will make you fall in love with a hardened criminal.
It will give you nightmares about circus midgets.
It will replace your shampoo with Nair and your Nair with Rogaine, all
while dating your current boy/girlfriend behind your back and billing
their dates and rendezvous to your Visa card. Badtimes will give you
Dutch Elm disease.
It will leave the toilet seat up and leave the hairdryer plugged in
dangerously close to a full bathtub it will not only remove the
forbidden tags from your mattresses and pillows, and refill your skim
milk with whole.
It is insidious and subtle. It is dangerous and terrifying to behold.
It is also a rather interesting shade of mauve. These are just a few
signs.
Be very, very afraid.
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Why don't blondes like to breastfeed their babies?
It hurts to boil their nipples!
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How'd the redneck git lost in space?
He rolled down the window to spit out his chaw!
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