| Jokes 1002 |
EasyNews, UseNet made Ea .. |
| ::darkshadows:: (blood@thirsty.net) |
2008/10/01 21:53 |
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From: "::darkshadows::" <blood@thirsty.net>
Newsgroups: alt.fan.rolex
Subject: Jokes 1002
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Date: Thu, 02 Oct 2008 03:53:46 GMT
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How can you tell when a blonde has been baking chocolate chip cookies?
There's M&M shells all over the floor.
=====
15 Signs You Drank Too Much
Oldsmobile.
14 - Although armed with fire extinguishers, friends stood at a safe
distance as you blew out your birthday candles.
13 - Thanks to you, Jack Daniels stock is up 15 1/4 since Friday.
12 - Boris Yeltsin called personally to ask you to slow down on the
Stoli.
11 - For some reason, there's salt on the rim of your basketball goal.
10 - Your name is Otis and Sheriff Andy has brought you some of Aunt
Bea's pancakes.
9 - For the money you spent on Thunderbird, you could've bought the
automobile.
8 - You're now the proud inventor of the "Slim Jim": Ultra Slim-Fast
shakes made with Jim Beam.
7 - Answering machine full of warnings from Coach Switzer.
6 - Absolut wants to run an ad featuring a picture of your liver in
the shape of a bottle.
5 - Yet again, dry cleaner employees greet you with, "Hey, it's Vomit
Man!"
4 - The doorman asks for your I.D. just to see how long it'll take you
to find your pants.
3 - Your liver, in a fit of pique, leaps out of your abdominal cavity
into a pan of frying onions.
2 - Worried friends call Monday morning to make sure you returned the
goat.
1 - You're now sober enough to realize "Drink Canada Dry" is a slogan
and not a personal challenge.
=====
A Fairy Tale for the Woman of the New Millennium:
Once upon a time, in a land far away, a beautiful, independent,
self-assured princess happened upon a frog as she sat contemplating
ecological issues on the shores of an unpolluted pond in a verdant
meadow near her castle. The frog hopped into the Princess' lap.
"Elegant Lady, I was once a handsome Prince, until an evil witch cast
a spell upon me. One kiss from you, however, and I will turn back into
the dapper, young Prince that I am! Then, my sweet, we can marry and
set up housekeeping in yon castle with my Mother, where you can
prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children, and forever feel
grateful and happy doing so."
That night, on a repast of lightly sauteed frogs legs seasoned in a
white wine and onion cream sauce, she chuckled to herself.
"I don't f-ing think so."
=====
Teacher: John, give me a sentence using the word, "geometry."
John: Okay, there once was this little acorn. Then it grew and grew
and woke one day and said, ''Gee, I'm a tree.''
=====
You might be a redneck if you've been married three times and you
still have the same in-laws!
=====
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