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From: "::darkshadows::" <blood@thirsty.net>
Newsgroups: alt.fan.rolex
Subject: Jokes 926
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Date: Fri, 26 Sep 2008 02:31:12 GMT
Xref: news.nzbot.com alt.fan.rolex:7317
There was a contruction worker who was working on a building when he
fell 15 stories to his bloody death. He arrived at the pearly gates
and St. Peter said ''Oh, I am sorry, my son. But you have been
sentenced to hell. The worker agreed -- not like he could do anything
else -- and he was on his way.
construction worker went about his job and made many improvements; in
fact, by the time he was done, hell was a paradise. It had air
conditioning, pools, balconies, you name it.
court. We're going to sue you for this man's soul and damages. Satan
=====
What happens when you put the Energizer Bunny batteries in backward?
He keeps coming and coming and coming...
=====
Why'd the condom cross the road?
He got pissed off!
=====
There is this extremely horny guy who loves to have sex with everyone
except his wife. One day, he is going on a buisness trip, and before
he leaves, his wife says, ''I'll leave you if you sleep with anyone on
your trip.''
He is driving to his destination, and he sees a sign that says
''Church of Latter-Day Saints Whorehouse -- 10 miles.'' He thinks to
himself, ''I'll just ignore it or my wife will leave me.'' There is a
sign for it every mile, so he finally breaks down and goes where the
sign says to go. He knocks on the door of the whorehouse and a nun
comes to the door. The man says, ''Where can I get a whore?'' The nun
says, ''I'll need $500 first.'' The man says okay and pays, then asks
about his whore again. The nun replies, ''We will need another $100.''
The man pays then asks for his whore again. The nun says ''Okay, see
that hallway. Wait for 15 minutes. Go straight, left, straight, right
and you'll see a door.''
He follows the directions, walks out the door and finds himself in the
parking lot. His car has a sign on it that says, ''Congrats. You have
just been screwed by the Church of Latter-Day Saints.''
=====
A woman pregnant with her first child paid a visit to her
obstetrician's office. After the exam, she shyly said, ''My husband
wants me to ask you...,'' to which the doctor replies, ''I know, I
know,'' placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder. ''I get asked that
all the time. Sex is fine until late in the pregnancy.''
''No, that's not it,'' the woman confessed. ''He wants to know if I
can still mow the lawn.''
=====
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