Why won't sharks attack lawyers?
Professional courtesy.
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A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding
man standing at the counter methodically placing "Love" stamps on
bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a
perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them. His curiosity
gets the better of him and he goes up to the balding man and asks him
what he's doing.
"I'm sending out 1,000 Valentine's Day cards signed, 'Guess who?'"
"But why?" asks the man.
"I'm a divorce lawyer."
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What do a lawyer and a sperm have in common?
They both hope to be human someday.
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A guy phones a law firm and says, "I want to speak to my lawyer." The
receptionist says, "I'm sorry, but your lawyer died last week." The
next day the same guy phones the law firm and says, "I want to speak
to my lawyer." Once again the receptionist replies, "I'm sorry, but
your lawyer died last week."
The next day the guy makes his regular call to the law firm and say,
"I want to speak to my lawyer." "Excuse me sir," the receptionist
says, "but this is third time I've had to tell you that your lawyer
died last week. Why do you keep calling?" The guy replies, "Because I
love hearing it!"
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Q: Why did the post office recall the new lawyer stamps?
A: Because people could not tell which side to spit on.
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