Q: What do you buy a friend graduating from Law School?
A: A lobotomy.
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A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried this creative
defense:
"My client merely inserted his arm into the window and removed a few
trifling articles. His arm is not himself, and I fail to see how you
can punish the whole individual for an offense committed by his limb."
"Well put," the judge replied. "Using your logic, I sentence the
defendant's arm to one year's imprisonment. He can accompany it or
not, as he chooses."
The defendant smiled. And, with his lawyer's assistance, he detached
his artificial limb, laid it on the bench and walked out.
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Q: Have you heard about the lawyers' word processor?
A: No matter what font you select, everything comes out in fine print.
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Why was the lawyer skimming the Bible right before he died?
He was looking for loopholes!
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What do you call an honest lawyer?
An oxymoron.
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