| Jokes 910 |
EasyNews, UseNet made Ea .. |
| ::darkshadows:: (blood@thirsty.net) |
2008/09/09 22:59 |
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From: "::darkshadows::" <blood@thirsty.net>
Newsgroups: alt.fan.rolex
Subject: Jokes 910
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Date: Wed, 10 Sep 2008 04:59:58 GMT
Xref: news.nzbot.com alt.fan.rolex:7267
Three men were in a NASA conference room to decide how to spend $10
billion.
"I think we should put our men on Mars!" said the first man.
"Ooh, good idea," said the other two.
"I think we should put our men on Venus!" said the second man.
"Ooh, good idea," said the other two.
"I think we should put our men on the Sun!"
"How are you going to do that?"
"Easy. We go at night."
==========
It has long been rumored that W. R. Grace Co. was considering buying
the Fuller Brush Co. along with Mary Kay Cosmetics and then merge with
the Hale Business Systems. This mega-corporate entity could be known
as Hale Mary Fuller Grace.
Failed merger: Yahoo and Netscape. Net 'n Yahoo didn't work out
because they would have to relocate the headquarters located in Tel
Aviv.
Proposed merger: Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers, to be
called Fairwell Honeychild.
Rumored merger: Wurlitzer with Xerox. They are going to market
reproductive organs.
Possible merger: Warner Brothers, Polygraph Records and Keebler -- to
be called... Poly-Warner-Cracker.
3M and Goodyear merger: mmmGood
John Deere and Abitibi-Price: Deere Abi
Zippo Manufacturing, Audi, Dofasco and Dakota Mining: Dip Audi Do Da
Swissair and Cheseborough-Ponds: Swisschese
Honeywell, Imasco and Home Oil: Honey, I'm Home
Luvs Diapers and Hertz Rent-a-Car: Luv Herts
Upjohn and Chuckie Cheese Pizza: UpChuck
White Castle Burgers and Glad Trash Bags: White Trash Bags
==========
Q. What does marine stand for?
A. My Ass Rides In Navy Equipment.
==========
One day Jesus wanted to test his disciples. So he called all of them
together and asked them to pick up two stones. All the desciples
picked up small stones except for Judas, who picked up two big stones.
Jesus then asked his desciples to throw the stones as far as possible.
All the small stones went very far but Judas' stones fell very close.
got huge acres of land but Judas landed up with just a small portion.
This made him very cross with Jesus.
Jesus then told his desciples to pick up two stones again. All the
desciples picked up two big stones except for Judas, who picked small
disciples got huge loafs of bread except for Judas. This made Judas
even more angry.
Jesus then decided to test his desciples for a third time so he told
them to pick up two stones. This time everybody picked up two
medium-sized stones. Judus wanted to get even with Jesus, so he picked
==========
A man was having an affair with a married woman. When her husband had
gone to work, her secret lover came 'round. Just as they got down to
business, the door bell went. The woman went and peered out of the
curtains to see who it was.
"Oh no, it's my husband, he must have forgotten something."
The woman went downstairs, and the man jumped out of the window before
he was seen. He was totally starkers, so hid behind a bush. About an
hour later, a nudist group ran by, doing a marathon. He quickly jumped
up, and joined them.
After a while, he got talking to one of them, "So how long have you
been a nudist?" a man asked him.
"Not long" he replied "what about that?" the other man said to him,
pointing to the condom the man was wearing.
"Oh, it was raining when I came out" the man replied.
==========
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